Recovery from Bullying Is a Lifelong Process | Corona, CA

Posted June 28, 2016 | Reviewed by Ekua Hagan

If you are the victim of bullying, please find someone to talk to about it. If you are in school, try to find a trusted teacher or school counselor. There are a variety of online support groups as well. Journal about it. Make art projects and try to connect to your feelings. The biggest thing is not to abandon yourself in the process. You also get to speak up and say “No!” to the bully and do what you can to remain at a safe distance. Please get support and know that you matter and that you’re not alone. Additional resources can be found here.

If you are a survivor of bullying, the same advice applies. Speak out about it. Revisit what happened and really acknowledge how you felt and also how you may have internalized what happened and beat yourself up for it. Be kind and gentle with yourself and notice any residual consequences. How do you handle groups of people now? What happens when you begin to feel left out of a group? Notice the immediate self-talk and/or reaction to run, argue with someone else, and/or dissociate.

If you are or were an onlooker, take note of your feelings. Are (or were) you scared to confront the bully? Were you worried you’d be next? What can you do to repair with the victim? Can you be brave and tell the bully that the behavior is not kind, or can you make a stand by saying out loud that you don’t find it acceptable and physically walk-away? Are there other things you can do to support anti-bullying initiatives (at school or in your community)? Can you write about it and begin talking to safe people about how you feel when witnessing bullying?

If you are (or were) the bully, what can you do to empathize with the person you are bullying (or have bullied)? What are you getting from bullying someone? Can you journal about it and try to really feel what the other person feels? Can you talk to someone safe about the thrill you may get when harming someone? Is it possible you can do things to stop bullying and help support anti-bullying activities? Is there a way you can repair with the person you have bullied? Can you speak out the next time you witness a person bullying another person?

If you are a school administrator or teacher, there are numerous bullying programs available at this time with tangible things you can do. Also, try to pay attention to your own internal reactions to bullying. Do you find yourself inadvertently engaging in microaggressions and unconscious prejudices that reinforce bully and victim statuses? Do you also have a support group and a place where everyone can talk about it with each other? Does your school engage in a culture of openness and flexibility or is it succumbing to old, entrenched bullying patterns? What can you do to speak out in little ways each day to support inclusion, empathy, and equality for all?

We are social creatures and we need each other for survival. That means we need the victims, the onlookers, and even the bullies. We don’t need an enemy to keep us together. Instead, we can focus on growth and ask ourselves what our own individual experiences are teaching us about ourselves. We can also find peace by trusting the greater ethereal forces that unite all of life. We are part of a greater whole.

Mother of Family Therapy Virginia Satir stated, “We need four hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth.”

If you would like to learn more about bullying prevention tips, contact Simple Acts of Care and Kindness at 866-459-7225 or visit www.simpleacts.org for additional information.

My son has been bullying an overweight kid — and I feel like a failure | Corona, CA

By Andrew Court | November 22, 2021 – 2:09pm Updated

A distraught mom has taken to TikTok saying she feels like a failure after learning her 7-year-old son is a bully. The mom, named Beth, posted an emotional video to the social media site last week detailing the moment she learned her boy had attacked an overweight peer while onboard a school bus.

“I feel like a failure,” Beth wrote beneath the clip, which has been viewed more than 1.5 million times.

“My son came home telling me another parent threatened him for ‘accidentally’ knocking his son’s glasses off his face,” she explained. “I believed every word that came out of his mouth.” Beth decided to speak with the school bus driver after her son told her that the incident occurred onboard the vehicle — and she was stunned by what she found out next.

“The driver explained to me how this child is heavyset and he can’t get off the bus quickly. He told me how my child was shoving this boy down the aisle because he wasn’t ‘fast enough,’” the mom stated. “My child ripped the boy’s glasses off his face and threw them to the back of the bus.”

Beth said she was left “heartbroken” after learning of the incident — and it really hit home, as she herself had been bullied about her weight when she was a child.

“I do not condone this behavior and it is NOT tolerated,” the mom said, as she sobbed on-screen.

“I don’t know where to go from here. I’m obviously doing something wrong,” she emotional parent confessed.

Beth explained that she was making her son apologize to the boy and inviting him over to her house so the pair could play together.

She then shared a second video, directly addressing the bullied child, which was set to the song “You Are Enough” by Sleeping At Last.

“I’ve spent hours thinking about how my son degraded you and it makes me sick,” Beth wrote. “I will do better.”

The mom was inundated with comments beneath her videos, with many praising her for taking action.

“The fact that you aren’t letting this slide means you’re doing a great job,” one viewer wrote.

“You’re an amazing mama. I can’t tell you how RARE what you did is. You investigated and are helping your son make a better choice,” another added.

Beth later updated her followers, saying that her son’s playdate with the bullied boy went well. “They have a lot in common and get along great,” she stated.

If you would like to learn more about bullying prevention tips, contact Simple Acts of Care and Kindness at 866-459-7225 or visit www.simpleacts.org for additional information.

Anti-Bullying Event to Host Special Guests, Celebrities | Corona, CA

By Susan Canfora | Staff Reporter

Bodyguard Bubba Almony offers tips to students at the R.J. Martial Arts’ School of the Elites summer camp in Selbyville, teaching them the skills he said can help them avoid being bullied.

A message against bullying, and assurance that help is available, will be the focus of a regional event planned for Saturday, Aug. 28, at the Worcester County (Md.) Recreational Center in Snow Hill, Md.

Organized by local bodyguard Bubba Almony, it will feature speakers including Khalilah Ali, widow of boxing champion Muhammad Ali and mother of four of his children. She herself has a third-degree black belt in karate, earned a ninth-degree black belt, has appeared on the cover of Ebony magazine seven times and appeared in the movie “The China Syndrome.’

Former Baltimore Ravens football player Jacoby Jones will be there, as well as Al “Hondo” Handy, former head of recreation and parks in Ocean City, Md., who was named the Ocean City Citizen of the Year in 2015 and who will talk about sportsmanship.

Maryland Gov. Larry Hogan and Lt. Gov. Boyd Rutherford have been invited, and the mayors of both Pocomoke City, Md., and Snow Hill will attend, with Jennifer Jewell, mayor of Snow Hill, presenting a proclamation designating Aug. 28 as Bubba Almony Day.

“I am a big advocate of anti-bullying,” Almony said. “Bullying is prevalent all across the nation. I see it when I travel as a bodyguard. It’s in prisons, in the military. There is police brutality. It is happening everywhere.

Bullying is something we can’t tackle alone,” he added. “We need everybody’s help. Our goal at this event is to bring an anti-bullying message to the community. We will also talk about good, positive community policing. We will have dignitaries from the fire departments there, from the police departments.

“We want everybody to come and be heard, be seen and know people care about you and what you are going through. Our speakers will give encouragement to youth and talk about why this event is so important. They will talk about themselves. Dr. Ali will talk about her experiences growing up with bullying, why it’s important to have faith and never give up,” he said.

Vendors will provide information about how people can find help if they are bullied, as well as for mental-health concerns. The Recreation Center’s concession stand will be open, and the Mister Softee truck will be on the grounds.

Adriano ‘Bubba’ Almony, a part-time resident of Ocean View, is a professional body guard. He was named LV Magazine’s Humanitarian of the Year and this summer is teaching local kids how to avoid being bullied.

Following what Almony called “an outdoor fanfest” at noon, to give those attending the opportunity to meet the guests, doors will open at 3:30 p.m., and a celebrity basketball game will take place at 5 p.m.

Admission for the event costs $20, or $40 for a VIP ticket that allows ticketholders to sit near the basketball players and take photographs with them. See www.bubbaalmony.com for more information.

The winning basketball team will receive a trophy, and proceeds from the event will benefit organizations that work to improve mental health and to fight cancer and bullying. Almony said he hopes to raise as much as $50,000 and expects 2,000 people to attend from Delaware, Maryland and Virginia.

Other guests will include former NFL offensive tackle Vinston Painter; 12-year-old Samaya Clark-Gabriel, an athlete and actress, and the only child to perform with the Harlem Globetrotters; Jonte Hall, the shortest Harlem Globetrotter, at 5 feet, 2 inches tall. The guest list also includes 14-year-old Demarjay Smith, known as “the Young Jamaican Trainer,” who, at age 8, made a video and gave a motivational speech about being healthy and fit, causing it to go viral and getting him an invitation to be a guest on the “Ellen” TV show; and officer Tommy Norman, who has worked for the North Little Rock, Ark., police department since 1998 and received national attention for charitable actions toward youth.

Almony said he’s hoping to see the U.S. Army National Guard land a Black Hawk helicopter at the event.

Sherman, the Delmarva Shorebirds mascot, will be there, as well as Salisbury University cheerleaders and a Salisbury Zoo reptile display.

To protect against transmission of the coronavirus, masks will be recommended indoors and everyone’s temperature will be taken at the door. Hand sanitizer will be available, and the facility will the cleaned throughout the day.

“Bringing all these people together, we want to show those who have been bullied or have other issues that there are others that care about them, that love them, that want to treat the issues they are having as their own. We are ready to help them in their battles, to share our examples and experiences,” Almony said.

“If people come to this event, they could get skills that could save their lives and make their community more tightly knit.”

If you would like to learn more about anti-bullying efforts, contact Simple Acts of Care and Kindness at 866-459-7225 or visit www.simpleacts.org for additional information.

Don’t Be Scared of Bullies | Corona, CA

October marks National Bullying Prevention Month, but today is Halloween, so let’s go into this spooky night with the idea of having a really sweet time. No one should have to tolerate people being mean to them, and if they do, they need to know it will be okay. Not only will things get better, but there are things that can be done to get the bullying to stop. After all, this is the time of year we pretend to be anything we want to be – there is no place for bullies. So, as we gather together with friends to trick-or-treating, here are some tips to think about, in case someone tries to ruin your Halloween fun:

  • Stick with friends and try to avoid being alone in targeted areas like locker rooms, restrooms, and places the bully tends to hang around.
  • Be assertive and show confidence when standing up for yourself. Body language can work wonders – standing up straight and making eye contact will show you aren’t going to stand for it.
  • Ignore the bully by walking away or by not responding to their insults at all. They want to get a rise out of you.
  • Don’t seek revenge – it will only make things worse.
  • Don’t keep it a secret. Ask your friends or an adult for help.

If you see someone bullied:

  • Speak up for those being bullied.
  • Don’t join in the act of bullying and refuse to even watch someone being bullied.
  • Give support by talking to the person being bullied in private; extend your friendship and listening ear.
  • You should report any bullying you see to teachers or another adult.

If you would like to learn more about bullying prevention, contact Simple Acts of Care and Kindness at 866-459-7225 or visit www.simpleacts.org for additional information.

Facts and Statistics of Bullying | Corona, CA

We all know that bullying is a problem, and it feels like everywhere you look is a new way that someone is being bullied. It doesn’t matter who you are or what you look like – you can become a victim of bullying. And until we can rid the world of the bullies, the best we can do is try to prevent it from happening in our day to day lives. Every good deed counts.

As we are gearing up for the new school year, we need to take a look at some of the facts that our students are facing going to school each day. It isn’t just in your neighborhood, it’s everywhere. But it doesn’t have to be. Talk to your students. Pay attention to subtle changes they may make. No one wants to admit to being bullied but their demeanor will surely be affected. Teach them that bullying is bad and to say something if they see it being done. These few tips will help to ensure a healthy, happy school year:

About 42 percent of kids have been bullied while online with one in four being verbally attacked more than once.

About 35 percent of kids have been threatened online.

About 58 percent of kids and teens have reported that something mean has been said about them or to them online.

About 77 percent of students have admitted to being the victim of one type of bullying or another.

The American Justice Department bullying statistics show that one out of every four kids will be bullied sometime throughout their adolescence.

160,000 children within the United States stay home each day due to bullying situations.

If you would like to learn more about bullying prevention, contact Simple Acts of Care and Kindness at 866-459-7225 or visit www.simpleacts.org for additional information.

Compassion Is Vital | Corona, CA

As much as we hate to admit it, summer is passing by so quickly. Soon the kids will be back at school and all the business of autumn is with us. Back to early mornings and after-school routines will be in full force, so many of us begin to adjust our schedules accordingly before the end of summer. This way, the transition is a bit easier once these school days are upon us. While we are preparing for waking up earlier and growing a bit smarter in the upcoming year, make sure that you also address the attitudes that will begin the year as well.

There’s no denying the fact that bullying is running rampant throughout our world. But it doesn’t need to trickle into our little human’s mind. They need to begin their next school year excited and ready to learn.

So, this school year we would like to encourage you to help your children become sensitive to the feelings that they see in their classmates, friends and family. Your sensitivity will be a big part of their developing it within themselves. If you are already helping a friend or family member as they are dealing with a problem, let them see what you are doing. It could be as simple as their knowing that you have been sitting with that friend or family member. When they begin to understand that you will always be there for them, perhaps not having to solve the problem, but just letting that person know they are cared for, your child will be on a great journey to compassion and caring that will serve them all their lives. Be that great example for your children at home.

If you would like to learn more about bullying prevention, contact Simple Acts of Care and Kindness at 866-459-7225 or visit www.simpleacts.org for additional information.

Rise like a Phoenix | Corona, CA

When we are bullied as kids, it often feels like it’ll never end – that we will always be bullied, no matter what we do. Fortunately, that couldn’t be further from the truth. Believe it or not, but there are many celebrities that have not only had bullies growing up but grew into fantastic adults. And while we may never rid the world of bullying, it is important to let our children know it isn’t the end of the world. Time heals all wounds – even ones caused by bullying. Still unsure? Take a look at some of our greatest bullied celebrities.

Elon Musk. Closer to being a real-life Iron Man than Robert Downey Jr., Elon was severely bullied, and was once hospitalized when a group of boys threw him down a flight of stairs, and then beat him until he blacked out. Musk is now a multi-billionaire and plans to colonize Mars by 2040.

Kate Middleton. A story similar to a Disney tale, the Duchess only lasted two terms at Downe House boarding school because fellow students tormented her. She now supports anti-bullying charities with her husband, Prince William.

Michael Phelps. The most decorated Olympian of all time, Michael was bullied about his lisp and his big ears. He told Yahoo Sports; “I kind of laugh at it now. I think it made me stronger going through that.”

Tony Hawk. When Tony Hawk was in high school, being into skateboarding was the equivalent of being into ultimate Frisbee today. In an interview, Hawk said; “[The bullying] gave me the fire to push it even further. I liked that it set me apart and I didn’t care what they thought.”

If you would like to learn more about bullying prevention, contact Simple Acts of Care and Kindness at 866-459-7225 or visit www.simpleacts.org for additional information.

What You Can Do to Stop Bullying | Corona, CA

bullying

Bullying is a terrible thing to witness. Not only is it mean, but the victim of the bullying is hurt. When you do nothing, you send the message that bullying is acceptable. If you ignore or minimize the problem, victims will not believe that adults understand or care, or that they can help. And if you don’t intervene, their peers won’t either. So, when you see someone being bullied, take a moment to step in and help stop it. Not sure how to do it? Here are some simple ways to make a difference:

Intervene immediately. Stand between or near the victim and the bully, separating them if necessary, so as to stop the bullying behaviors. For young children, consider removing them from the situation to a “time-out” area or room. Remain calm but convey the seriousness of the situation. Announce that the bullying must stop. Describe the behavior you observed and why it is unacceptable.

Get help if needed. If the bully is using physical force, or there is more than one bully, you may need to find another adult to help keep children safe and protect yourself.

Don’t impose immediate consequences. Make sure you gather all the information before deciding the best course of disciplinary action and refrain from punishing the bully in front of peers.

Don’t ask children to “work things out” for themselves.  Bullying is different from an argument or conflict – it involves a power imbalance that requires adult intervention.

Give praise and show appreciation to helpful bystanders.  Children who try to help the victim or stop the bully are key to bullying prevention.

Stick around. Remain in the area until you are sure the behavior has stopped.

If you would like to learn more about bullying prevention, contact Simple Acts of Care and Kindness at 866-459-7225 or visit www.simpleacts.org for additional information.

Students at Risk for Bullying | Corona, CA

There’s no doubt that bullying has become a problematic epidemic in the United States, but just how much of a problem has it become? Whether it be cyber bullying or bullying in real life, just about everyone has experienced some degree of bullying throughout their lifetime. Though some children and teens experience bullying at high rates and with more persistence than others, just about every child around the country is mostly likely going to have some type of connection to bullying.

Sadly, children and teens that are considered different than others are the most frequent targets of bullies. Youth with disabilities; gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) students; students that are overweight; and students that are perceived as weak or insecure are the most likely targets of bullies. However, even if a child does have these risk factors, it doesn’t mean they will get bullied.

The problem really stems from the fact that many bullied students will not speak up when it happens, for fear of retaliation, not being believed, etc. And sadly, we continue to hear how this bullying is affecting the students directly – at times having an incredibly tragic end. We, as adults, need to be able to make our children feel comfortable with speaking up without feeling scared to do so.

In addition, parents and teachers that are in close contact with children on the school’s campus need to help put bullying to an end. It takes a village to raise a child – we all need to come together to support and accept one another to help reduces these alarming statistics as a community.

If you would like to learn more about bullying, contact Simple Acts of Care and Kindness at 866-459-7225 or visit www.simpleacts.org for additional information.

Why Students May Not Talk About Bullying | Corona, CA

Many of us know a child who has stayed home from school because they were afraid of being bullied – but you may not realize it. An average of 160,000 students around the country stay home daily out of fear of being bullied each day but do not tell an adult. There are 5 universal reasons why this is the case…

Don’t tattle. We have all been taught not to tattle, but it is vitally important that children learn the difference between tattling about unimportant things and telling someone when bullying is taking place.

Don’t make it worse. Children may fear that things could escalate if the issue is addressed.

Won’t be believed. Some children feel that they will not be listened to and that the issue will not be believed if they tell an adult or suggest it was self-inflicted.

Won’t help. A majority of children believe that telling an adult does nothing to stop the bullying. Sadly, research tends to support this thought. If children learn that adults won’t help, then they are not very likely to report the incidents.

Shame. When children are bullied, they often feel ashamed or embarrassed. These feelings alone can keep them from reporting issues, because they don’t want people to know that they were being bullied.

The challenges that children face when not telling adults that they are being bullied can be dealt with by having a bully prevention program in place in every school, as well as parents and adults talking to children about bullying and the importance of telling someone in authority when it happens, and treated in a positive light.

If you would like to learn more about bullying statistics, contact Simple Acts of Care and Kindness at 866-459-7225 or visit www.simpleacts.org for additional information.