How To Intervene When Bullying Happens | Corona, CA

Bullying happens. It’s a sad fact that in our lifetimes are likely to either be bullied, be a bully, or be in proximity to a situation in which bullying occurs. Here is what you can do if you are ever in proximity to a bullying situation.

Intervene. Ignoring or minimizing the situation helps no one, and really does more harm than good, as it can encourage the bully’s behavior, and victims feel helpless. Doing something is better than doing nothing. Even if what you are observing is questionably bullying behavior, it’s still better to step in somehow. Pay attention to children’s facial expressions, actions, words, and body language to help you determine what is going on.

Be firm but appropriate. This can be a difficult line to walk along, but bullying is serious and needs to be taken as such. Yet, fire doesn’t fight fire in these situations, so remaining calm is also important. Intervene, share with the children your observations, and remain calm while being firm in your explanation of why what is happening needs to stop.

Reach out for help. If things get physical, or there is more than one bully, you may need to seek help on another person to deal with the situation properly and safely.

Avoid a lecture. Your goal by intervening is to end the behavior, not shame the bully. Lecturing and scolding often provide the bully with the attention that he or she finds rewarding. Additionally, don’t ask children to “work things out” for themselves. If they could have, they would have without you.

Don’t impose immediate consequences. Allow yourself time to consider the incident and obtain any clarifying information—then decide the best course of action. This also allows them to consider their actions, and hopefully learn from them on their own, prior to receiving an appropriate consequence.

Show appreciation to helpful bystanders.  Children who try to help the victim or stop the bully are key to bullying prevention. Kids who witness bullying are the perfect people to introduce alternative actions they can employ other than bullying, and encourage to help safely stop it the next time it occurs.

If you would like to learn more about bullying, contact Simple Acts of Care and Kindness at 866-459-7225 or visit www.simpleacts.org for additional information.

The Difference Between Harassment and Bullying | Corona, CA

The difference between bullying and harassment is a thin line. They both revolve around power dynamics, control, harmful actions, and the perceived ability of the target to stop their experience. Yet, the things that differentiate bullying from harassment stem from the notion that the target its part of a “protected class” designation. Here are some things to be aware of when you consider whether what your child is experiencing is bullying or harassment.

According to California law, there is not an express definition of prohibited bullying conduct beyond guidelines for schools to determine disciplinary consequences. In order to suspend or recommend expulsion, a school must find the following requirements within any circumstance that has been brought to their attention.

“Severe or pervasive physical or verbal acts or conduct, including communications made in writing or by means of an electronic act … directed toward one or more pupils that has or can be reasonably predicted to have one or more of the following effects. 

  1. Placing a reasonable pupil or pupils in fear of harm to that pupil or those pupils’ person or property.
  1. Causing a reasonable pupil to experience a substantially detrimental effect on his or her physical or mental health
  1. Causing a reasonable pupil to experience substantial interference with his or her academic performance
  1. Causing a reasonable pupil to experience substantial interference with his or her ability to participate in or benefit from the services, activities or privileges provided by a school.”

While California only sets these precedents for bullying, both California and federal law prohibit harassment based on legally protected attributes associated with “protected class” designations. Protected classes include race, color, religion, sex, age, disability, and national origin. Harassment, as it pertains to students, is defined as conduct that creates a “hostile environment” that limits students from participating in or benefiting from school activities or services.

In California, the Education Code states that the school may suspend or recommend for expulsion students in grades 4 to 12 when the school has determined that “the pupil has intentionally engaged in harassment, threats or intimidation, directed against school district personnel or pupils, that is sufficiently severe or pervasive to have the actual and reasonably expected effect of materially disrupting classwork, creating substantial disorder, and invading the rights of either school personnel or pupils by creating an intimidating or hostile educational environment.”

It is important to note that harassment may include bullying, and there are instances in which this holds true. For example, harassment under federal law does not need to be directed at a specific target, is not necessarily motivated by the intent to harm, and is not always repeated, as with bullying.

If you would like to learn more about bullying, contact Simple Acts of Care and Kindness at 866-459-7225 or visit www.simpleacts.org for additional information.

Who Is at Increased Risk for Bullying? | Corona, CA

Bullying happens, and any child can be bullied for several reasons. Unfortunately, however, some individuals become a target of bullying more than others. Whether children are spreading hate online or in person, the consequences can be damaging for the recipient. Whether your child is the direct recipient or an indirect observer, bullying is so common, it’s likely every child will have some relationship with bullying.

Students seen as being ‘different’ or ‘non-conforming’ to their peers are at an increased risk of being the recipient of bullying. Children with disabilities, members of the LGBTQ community, those who are overweight, those perceived as insecure, and the quiet ones are all potential targets of being ‘othered’ and bullied because of it. Instead of being accepted for who they are, these students are made to feel poorly about the ways they were born, and how they move through the world.

What’s worse, is that many targets of bullying aren’t speaking to their families or teachers about their experience. Many times, they feel hopeless, that they won’t be believed, or that if they were to share, an adult will take actions that result in retaliation against them once out of the adult’s sight. As an adult, it’s important to make your child or student feel heard, safe, and take actionable steps that work to mitigate the chances of retaliation.

If you would like to learn more about bullying, contact Simple Acts of Care and Kindness at 866-459-7225 or visit www.simpleacts.org for additional information.

Bullying Can Feel Like a Taboo Topic for Kids | Corona, CA

On average, 160,000 students around the nation stay home daily because they fear being bullied at school. What’s more, it’s likely parents are unaware their child is being bullied. Unfortunately, kids can feel shame and social pressure to keep this information to themselves. Some may even feel that if they did share their experience, it would either fail to help the situation or make things worse. It’s important to understand that bullying happens, that it could be happening to your child and the reasons why he or she might not bring this to your attention. Here are a few things that may be happening in the background of your child’s experience that may keep them from sharing.

Labeling. Children do not possess the understanding that what they do and say to one another matters, and carries real-world implications. On the playground, a child’s reputation can be created in an instant and stay with them throughout their elementary school experience. This label can be anything from “timid” to “tattle tale”. It’s important to differentiate for a child what is important to share with an adult, and what is playground banter.

Retaliation. Adults can only do so much when it comes to bullying intervention. Adults can certainly converse with the bully to understand what is going on and address the concerns of the bullied child. Yet, they can’t always be around to monitor the behavior or intervene when things escalate. When a bully gets confronted about his or her actions, it tells them someone (likely the child being bullied) told on them. In the moments when no one is looking are when acts of retaliation can occur.

Being believed. Sadly, many children don’t think their parents will believe they are being bullied, or be victim blamed. Children may also take responsibility for the bully’s actions because they believe themselves unworthy of being treated kindly, or the cause of the bully’s behavior. It’s important to listen to your child and allow their feelings to be validated before taking action such as speaking with their teacher or the bully’s parents.

It’s useless. Research tends to support the notion that telling a parent is unlikely to stop bullying. All too often, when a child shares their situation with an adult, it is met with “toughen up”, “it’s a part of life”, or “he’s only doing it because he likes you and doesn’t know how else to express his feelings”. These are dangerous lessons to teach children about how to deal with these situations. It dismisses them, their feelings, and the actions of the bully, and teaches them that they should accept the way others treat them, rather than how to appropriately deal with the situation.

Shame. Shame and embarrassment are real feelings children carry around their bullying experience. When a child feels ashamed for any reason or embarrassed by the actions and reactions of their peers, it’s less likely they will speak up. They have to live with these feelings at school around their peers and might fear their parents will make them feel this way at home.

Bullying is never okay, and the victim’s feelings are always valid. Your child may not bring their experience to your attention, so it’s important to listen and encourage them to share their feelings. If they say things that may hint to instances of being bullied, but won’t tell you outright, it may be a good idea to speak with their teacher to learn more. That may allow you an avenue to begin asking the right questions at home and get to the bottom of why they may be acting strangely or quietly at home.

If you would like to learn more about simple acts of kindness, contact Simple Acts of Care and Kindness at 866-459-7225 or visit www.simpleacts.org for additional information.

Cyber Bullying: What to Look for and How to Stop It | Corona, CA

March 23, 2022 | Beau Yarbrough, Los Angeles Daily News

Most students report having been cyber bullied, but some schools have been able to reduce incidents by hiring additional counselors and creating online portals to report bullying and putting links to them everywhere.

(TNS) — Today’s kids face bullying and other dangers in two worlds, one online and the other offline.

“Parenting is parenting and digital spaces are just another place that kids hang out,” said Stephanie M. Reich, professor of education at UC Irvine.

A new Southern California News Group analysis shows that 33.5 percent of California secondary students reported being bullied or harassed in the past 12 months in an anonymous survey distributed in three-quarters of California school districts.

But the same kind of practical advice parents give their children before heading to school or a friend’s house can also protect them from cyber bullying online.

“When your kid is little and they want to go to the park, you don’t just open the door and say ‘There you go,’” Reich said.

According to a survey conducted between May and June 2021 by the Cyberbullying Research Center, 23.2 percent of children in America had been cyber bullied, with the highest numbers experienced by 15 year olds, 27.7 percent of whom had said they’d been bullied.

Cyber bullying can take many forms, from messages or social media posts intended to upset the target, online gossip, recording and posting offline bullying online, or impersonating bullying victims or creating doctored images to defame them.

In a 2018 Pew Research Center survey, 59 percent of teens surveyed said they’d experienced cyber bullying at some point.

“People always think about it as this dark shadowy thing that nobody is aware of that’s somehow different than what bullying is like,” Reich said. “But cyber bullying is a lot like in-person bullying.”

The consequences of cyber bullying, however, can be more severe than offline bullying, according to the National Institutes of Health. Cyber bullying victims are more likely to suffer from depression than those who are bullied in other ways, for example.

There are school districts in California that have much lower reported rates of bullying — some as low as one-third the statewide average. The rates are typically a result of improving school mental health climates, hiring additional counselors and implementing more robust anti-bullying policies and procedures.

More and more, school districts are taking what happens online as seriously as what happens on campus, according to Loretta Whitson, executive director of California Association of School Counselors.

“I can tell you that, many times, kids were pretty upset about being suspended when they (bullied) online, when they were at home,” she said. “But it disrupted education, and that was the rule.”

Districts with low rates of reported bullying often create online portals to report bullying and put links to them everywhere, including on students’ Chromebooks or other district-issued devices, by posting QR codes around campus and placing links on district and school websites. They also sometimes monitor how students use district devices and Internet use, flagging signs of bullying.

Jurupa Unified in Riverside County has both widespread links to the district’s bullying reporting line and uses software to flag when students visit inappropriate websites, including those dealing with drug use or self-harm.

The reporting tools have been getting a workout in the past two years.

“Since the pandemic, even during the virtual year, the actionable reports that have been put in have greatly increased,” said Monty Owens, the district’s director of educational equity.

The biggest way the districts combat cyber bullying, though, is the same way they combat it offline: By changing the school and district culture.

“One of the key characteristics of schoolyard bullying is that there’s a bunch of bystanders standing by, watching, not doing anything,” Reich said. “It’s the same in digital spaces. We want to train kids to intervene.”

That training is taking place in school districts with lower bullying rates. But Reich says there’s more work to do off school grounds to combat bullying.

“It’s really about a community that doesn’t tolerate it on the playground and they don’t tolerate it in digital spaces,” she said.

To get ahead of the issue, Reich said children should learn empathy to help prevent cyber bullying.

“If you’re empathetic, you’re not going to hurt others online and you’re less likely to tolerate it happening to other people online,” she said.

And that includes empathy for the bullies, too.

“Cyber bullies are often cyber-victims themselves,” she said.

Plus, she said, “they often have households that are not great. They have very neglectful parents or very laissez faire ones. They’re usually bullies because they’re trying to assert control.”

Reich believes parents should teach their children to be aware of the possible dangers online and how to avoid them, as well as develop trust with children so they are willing to share about things that concern or upset them.

“If you cultivate a high quality relationship with your child, you can have those conversations with them, whether it’s about digital spaces or offline,” Reich said.

With her own children, she gave her kids access to digital devices and the Internet gradually, based on their developmental stage. And just like talking about the hazards one could encounter on the way to the park, she spoke to her children about how algorithms for various social platforms shove engaging content at users without any concern about whether it’s healthy or accurate.

“We’re just trying to cultivate our kids being conscious and aware when they’re using devices,” she said.

And for parents looking for specific practical advice, the Boy Scouts — who have an online safety training course for scouts as young as first grade — have some tips:

Common types of cyber bullying

  • Flaming, trolling or trash talking by sending or posting hostile messages intended to upset others
  • Recording someone being harassed or bullied, then posting the video online for public viewing
  • Identify theft or impersonation
  • Doctored images
  • Physical threats
  • Spreading rumors or public shaming

Signs a child may be a victim of cyber bullying

  • Avoids computer, cell phone and other devices
  • Appears stressed when receiving an email, instant message or text message
  • Withdraws from family and friends
  • Reluctant to attend school or social events
  • Avoids conversations about their computer use
  • Exhibits signs of low self-esteem, including depression or fear
  • Has declining grades
  • Has poor eating or sleeping habits
  • Acts secretive when online

What to do if your child is being cyber bullied

  • Encourage your child not to respond to the bully
  • Do not erase the messages or pictures, and take screenshots and save them as evidence
  • Try to identify the individual doing the cyber bullying, even if the cyber bully is anonymous
  • If the cyber/gaming bullying is criminal — such as threats of violence, extortion, obscene or harassing phone calls or text messages, stalking, hate crimes or child pornography — contact the police

This story is part of a 2021 Data Fellowship with the USC Annenberg Center for Health Journalism.

If you would like to learn more about random acts of kindness, contact Simple Acts of Care and Kindness at 866-459-7225 or visit www.simpleacts.org for additional information.

It’s Time the World Stands Up to Bullying | Corona, CA

When it comes to bullying, there isn’t just the bullied that is affected. Of course, the victim hurt on many different levels. But the bully is also affected – after all, hurt people hurt people. Even those that are a witness to said bullying are affected. No one likes to see someone hurting. Therefore, it is so important that we combat bullying any way we can.

In the United States alone, 20 percent of children between the ages of 12 and 18 say they have experienced some type of bullying. That is a heartbreaking statistic. But if you think of it on a global scale, one-third of the world’s youth are bullied. Those who did the bullying had more social influence, more money, or were physically stronger than the person they bullied. You see, they have this idea that they’re “better” than you. And unfortunately, it can happen at any point in time. The bullying will take place in a school cafeteria, hallway, classroom, school grounds, or bathroom. Some bullies also use texting and online platforms to target their victims.

But there is hope… In 2008, Canada celebrated the first International Stand Up to Bullying Day. It started in February, but it is celebrated twice a year. And today is that day. Schools around the world are celebrating this anti-bullying tour de force by wearing a pink shirt to spread awareness of this very important cause. Because this can’t be done by one student alone – we all need to stand up to bullying if it’s ever going to stop.

So, wear that pink shirt with pride and put your foot down against bullying.

If you would like to learn more about random acts of kindness, contact Simple Acts of Care and Kindness at 866-459-7225 or visit www.simpleacts.org for additional information.

My Big Idea: Anti-Bullying Software for the Classroom | Corona, CA

OCTOBER 12, 2022 | by ALENE BOURANOVA

It’s no secret that bullying is still prevalent in classrooms. In fact, one in five children report being bullied during their school years.

It’s also not a secret that thanks to staff shortages and budget cuts, teachers and counselors are increasingly being asked to cover more and more students, making it easier for instances of bullying to slip through the cracks.

That’s where Brave Up comes in.

The software, which Juan Ramirez (Questrom’21) and Enrique De Lima (CAS’21) helped bring to market, is aimed at students and counselors to help predict, detect, and prevent bullying and cyberbullying inside K–12 classrooms. Brave Up launched in early 2022 and is in use in 150-plus schools across both the United States and Latin America, where much of the leadership team is from.

Comprehensive anti-bullying software has been a long time coming in the education technology space, says Ramirez, Brave Up’s head of revenue and strategy. And particularly now, with students back in classrooms after COVID lockdowns and struggling to adjust to a changed social landscape.

To continue reading this article, click here.

If you would like to learn more about random acts of kindness, contact Simple Acts of Care and Kindness at 866-459-7225 or visit www.simpleacts.org for additional information.

Mississippi 10-Year-Old Writes Anti-Bullying Book | Corona, CA

By Associated Press | Aug. 27, 2022, at 1:01 a.m. By BLAKE ALSUP, Northeast Mississippi Daily Journal TUPELO, Miss. (AP) —

William Faulkner was 29 years old.

Richard Wright was 30.

John Grisham, Eudora Welty and Greg Iles were all around age 33.

But Atiya Henley was just 10 years old when she published her first book.

Atiya will enter the fifth grade at West Clay Elementary this school year, but unlike most — if not all — of her classmates, she’s already a published author.

Published in February, Atiya’s short book, “The Mean Girls: A Bunch of Bullies,” carries an anti-bullying message.

Atiya’s mother, Amy Deanes, founded West Point-based Superior Publishing in 2020. The small publishing house currently distributes the work of 13 authors; among them, Atiya’s book has been the publisher’s best seller.

According to Deanes, her daughter has always been interested in writing stories. In fact, she wrote a book titled “Black Joe” before writing “The Mean Girls.”

The idea to write this specific book came about during a conversation with her mom. Atiya was playing a game, and Deanes suggested that she create her own game or write a book that other people can experience.

Although the book isn’t based on a situation she’s personally experienced or witnessed at school, she’s seen news reports on the effects of bullying. Atiya said she wanted to do something to help make people aware of bullying in an effort to help stop it.

“I’m very passionate of others’ feelings, and I don’t like when someone gets mistreated or left out,” Atiya said.

The 34-page book took her about a month to write. Her mother both edited and illustrated it.

Atiya and her eight classmates made up the entire fourth grade class at West Clay Elementary during the 2021-22 school year. Her whole class was involved in making the book, posing as characters in photo illustrations.

“We have a very small class, so basically all of them are best friends,” Atiya said.

The school’s principal, teachers and students were overjoyed to have an active part in the book’s creation and have supported it after release as Atiya has traveled to other schools and churches promoting it.

With a head start on what could be a productive career, Atiya is already planning future publications. She plans to publish the first book she penned, “Black Joe,” in the near future, and is currently working on a sequel to “The Mean Girls” subtitled “The Silent Bullies.”

The fifth grader has no intentions of putting down her proverbial pen. As an adult, she hopes to be an author and a real estate agent.

At just 10 years old, she’s already halfway there.

If you would like to learn more about random acts of kindness, contact Simple Acts of Care and Kindness at 866-459-7225 or visit www.simpleacts.org for additional information.

Is It Sibling Rivalry or Bullying? | Corona, CA

When we welcome another child into the family, we expect that there will be a bit of jealousy and trying to become the favorite is going to be the goal to achieve. For most families, it turns into what we know as sibling rivalry; for others, it can take a different turn.

New research suggests that even when there are no physical scars, aggression between siblings can cause psychological wounds as damaging as the suffering caused by bullies at school or on the playground. The findings offer an unusual look at an area of family life that has rarely been studied, in part because fighting among brothers and sisters is widely considered a harmless rite of passage.

But ordinary skirmishes over the remote or joystick are one thing. But constant physical and verbal abuse is another. Normal rivalries with siblings can encourage healthy competition but when the line between healthy relations and abuse is crossed it is cause for alarm. When one child is consistently the victim of another and the aggression is intended to cause harm and humiliation, it is then to be considered a serious situation.

Nationwide, sibling violence is the most common form of family violence. It occurs four to five times as often as spousal or parental child abuse. According to some studies, nearly half of all children have been punched, kicked or bitten by a sibling, and roughly 15 percent have been repeatedly attacked. But even the most severe incidents are underreported because families are reluctant to acknowledge them, dismissing slaps and punches as horseplay and bullying as kids just being kids.

It can erode a child’s sense of identity and lower their self-esteem, which can inevitably lead to anxiety, depression and anger.

If you would like to learn more about random acts of kindness, contact Simple Acts of Care and Kindness at 866-459-7225 or visit www.simpleacts.org for additional information.

School Attributes Anti-Bullying Setting for Student Success | Corona, CA

Hidden Treasure Christian School wants to make mission more visible

By Myra Ruiz | Published: Apr. 27, 2022 at 5:00 PM PDT

TAYLORS, S.C. (FOX Carolina) – When John Vaughn, then a minister at Faith Baptist Church, started Hidden Treasure Christian School, he had his daughter’s best interests in mind.

“My dad didn’t want me in the public school system because other children would make fun of me and I would not learn about God,” Becky Vaughn told FOX Carolina.

On May 20, 1978, a house fire left Vaughn with third-degree burns on 95 percent of her body. Her mother, Brenda Vaughn, also survived the fire with third-degree burns to 65 percent of her body.

Not only did the pastor want a bully-free and academically-fulfilling education for his daughter but also one that would instill Christian values. Vaughn said she is grateful for the education she received.

“It helped me to have a biblical perspective to know that God had a purpose and a plan for my life,” Vaughn said.

When the school opened in 1981, its only two students were Vaughn and a 13-year-old girl with Down Syndrome. The next year, enrollment doubled and then kept growing in subsequent years. Today there are 60 students at the school – each diagnosed with a special need that may be physical, emotional, mental, intellectual or a combination of any of these.

Bullying has not been an issue here and we pray it never will be,” Dr. Carl Herbster, Hidden Treasure Administrator, told FOX Carolina. “We’re here to help parents raise their children in a way that would accomplish the greatest potential for that young person.”

Hidden Treasure customizes each student’s curriculum to fit individual needs. The low student-to-teacher ratio and special attention given to each pupil’s learning process have led families from other states to choose Hidden Treasure.

Veronica Smith moved from Atlanta. After touring the school, she realized that Hidden Treasure would be the best place for her 16-year-old daughter, Teagan, who is considered low-verbal.

“I love the school,” Smith said. “Her reading has improved. Her math has improved. Her writing has improved. Her confidence in herself has improved.”

The yearly tuition at Hidden Treasure is $21,000. As a private school, it does not receive any state or federal funding. The school raises money for scholarships, so families aren’t excluded due to financial need.

“We don’t want (Hidden Treasure) as a ministry be a hidden treasure,” Herbster said. “We want to develop the hidden treasure in every young person that comes to us.”

Copyright 2022 WHNS. All rights reserved.

If you would like to learn more about random acts of kindness, contact Simple Acts of Care and Kindness at 866-459-7225 or visit www.simpleacts.org for additional information.