How Hollywood Has Shed a Light on Bullying | Corona, CA

In this climate, bullying seems to be on the forefront of everyone’s minds. From playground cruelty to the online rumor mill, we’re hearing more about bullying than ever, but are we getting better at helping kids and teens cope? Let’s take a look at how Hollywood has shown us various forms of bullying.

Mean Girls

Cady has been home-schooled for her first 16 years, so when she enters a public school for the first time, the movie introduces her (and us) to the complicated interactions of adolescent girls. She initially bonds with two social outcasts, who devise a plan for Cady to infiltrate the Plastics, a trio of popular girls led by the vindictive Regina.

Mean Girls brings shades of gray to the typical bully/victim paradigm. Everyone here is a player in an endless cycle of bullying and being bullied. When Cady succumbs to the pettiness and vanity of the Plastics, the movie shows how intoxicating popularity can be, and how easy it is to switch from victim to bully, and back again.

Dazed and Confused

Bullying is an institutionalized ritual that one Texas town implicitly endorses in Richard Linklater’s 1993 coming-of-age film. It’s the last day of school in 1976, and upperclassmen are hazing the incoming freshmen as they leave junior high.

Dazed and Confused reflects ’70s culture, when this sort of teasing and initiation was seen as a natural part of growing up. To escape hazing, the logic goes, would be to miss a key character-building experience in one’s adolescence. Small acts of rebellion or revenge are permitted, but opting out of this ritual is never seriously considered: After the initial hazing, many kids begin to bond and form friendships with those who have just tormented them.

If you would like to learn more about anti-bullying, contact Simple Acts of Care and Kindness at 866-459-7225 or visit www.simpleacts.org for additional information.

Why Having Pride Is So Important | Corona, CA

simple acts of care and kindness

As long as you aren’t living under a rock, you know that we recently wrapped up Pride Week, a celebration of the LGBT community and their culture. There are plenty of events, parades and celebratory events surrounding this time of year, but did you ever wonder why it exists at all? Bullying.

At 1:20 a.m. on June 28, 1969, New York City Vice Squad Public Morals Division raided The Stonewall Inn, a notoriously gay bar. It was then that the Stonewall Riots broke out, in response to the brutal treatment those in the LGBT community who attended that night. These violent demonstrations are what we now believe to be the first acts of the modern day gay rights movement.

Since the Stonewall Riots, there has been many advancements in the gay rights movement. They can participate in the armed forces protecting our country, marry and have children. But there are still plenty of steps left to take. Bullying this community is still very prevalent around the world and it needs to stop. This is why the Pride events that take place worldwide are such a major step towards equality. Pride Parades and events are celebrated in every major city and country across the world.

Bullying should never happen to anyone, regardless of your race, sex, creed or gender. We need to try to live in a place of peace and harmony, free from bullying and bigotry. So, in honor of Pride Month, we should take extra steps to come together. Not just for ourselves, but for those that are hurting.

If you would like to learn more about Pride Month, contact Simple Acts of Care and Kindness at 866-459-7225 or visit www.simpleacts.org for additional information.

The History of Seth’s Law | Corona, CA

bullyingIn the current climate, it’s fitting that we take a moment to reflect on a law passed in California that protects public school children from bullying. That law? Seth’s Law. Seth’s Law is a 2012 law that strengthens existing state anti-bullying laws to protect all students. This law requires CA public schools to update their anti-bullying policies and programs, focusing on protecting students who are bullied based on their actual or perceived sexual orientation and gender identity/gender expression, as well as race, ethnicity, nationality, gender, disability, and religion.

California law says that all public school students should have equal rights and opportunities. Yet many lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and questioning students report that they experience significant bullying in California schools. And teachers, administrators, and other staff often fail to address the bullying when they see it.

Seth’s Law is named after a 13-year-old California student who tragically took his own life in 2010 after years of anti-gay bullying that his school failed to address.

Under this law, school districts will adopt a strong anti-bullying policy that prohibits bullying and implement a specific process for receiving and investigating complaints of bullying, including a requirement that school personnel intervene if they witness bullying. Additionally, publicize anti-bullying policy and complaint process, including support materials in all schools, offices and district websites.

Seth’s Law specifically contains the following requirement: “If school personnel witness an act of discrimination, harassment, intimidation, or bullying, he or she shall take immediate steps to intervene when safe to do so.” (Education Code Section 234.1(b)(1))]

If you would like to learn more about Seth’s Law and what you can do to prevent bullying, contact Simple Acts of Care and Kindness at 866-459-7225 or visit www.simpleacts.org for additional information.

Are You a Bully? | Corona, CA

BystanderWhen we think about the typical bully, we think of the big, tough kid on the playground who pushes everyone around. Sure, but those aren’t the only types of bullies. The cheerleader, the class clown, even the quiet kid can be a bully. Bullies can be any size, age, gender or grade.

So, what does it mean to be a bully? When someone uses words or actions to hurt someone who has a hard time defending themselves. Sometimes kids who bully think that it’s cool, but what is cool about hurting someone? Name calling, tripping someone, laughing at them, leaving them out, ignoring them on purpose – how can hurting someone possibly be “no big deal?” If kids think about why they are bullying, they can then deal with those reasons and change their behavior. Not only will they feel better about themselves, but others will think so too.

Do you think you are a bully? Do you think you know someone who is? If you answer yes to any of these questions, you may want to rethink the way you treat others:

  • Do you hurt other kids on purpose?
  • Do you like to tease kids about how they look or act?
  • Are kids afraid of you?
  • Do you hit, threaten, or leave kids out?
  • Do you take or ruin other kids’ stuff?
  • Do you enjoy it when you upset other kids?
  • Do you blame others for your problems?
  • Do you say mean things about others, either in person or on social media?

If you would like to learn more about bullying and what you can do to prevent it, contact Simple Acts of Care and Kindness at 866-459-7225 or visit www.simpleacts.org for additional information.

Cyber Bullying: The Complete Resource Guide | Riverside, CA

Zack W VanWe recently come across this amazing e-guide to cyber-bullying. We all know bullying is becoming more and more common these days, and cyber-bullying is the worst. Not only because a cyber bully believes he/she is safe behind the screen, but because they cannot see how their words can affect their target.

But what is cyber-bullying exactly? What makes it different from typical playground teasing amongst children? But most importantly, what kinds of things can we do to prevent it from becoming progressively worse? All of this is covered for you in one e-guide. For more information, read more:

http://backgroundchecks.org/cyber-bullying-helping-the-bullied-stopping-the-bullies.html

Thank you, Jenny Holt, for such an eloquent way of explaining what has become such a hurtful way to bring someone down, instead of lifting them up.

If you would like to learn more about cyber-bullying and what you can do to prevent it, contact Simple Acts of Care and Kindness at 866-459-7225 or visit www.simpleacts.org for additional information.

Four Common Types Of Bullying

There are several types of bullying that both children and adults can experience, though some can be more obvious than others. Nevertheless, every form of bullying should be taken serious. While schools are trying to do the best they can do to deal with bullying, parents are still the key to teaching their children how to prevent and stop it altogether. To help identify different types of bullying, we here at Simple Acts of Care and Kindness have complied a list of the four most common types of bullying, which include the following:

Physical Bullying- This type of bullying involves hitting, kicking, pinching, pushing and tripping, or stealing or damaging personal property. Physical bullying can cause both short term and long term damage. Many children won’t tell their parents when it occurs, so keep an eye out for possible warn signs such as unexplained bruises, cuts or scratches, missing or damaged clothes, or frequent complaints of stomach aches or headaches.

Verbal Bullying- Verbal bullying involves name calling, insults, teasing, threats or homophobic or racist remarks. While verbal bullying can start out harmless, it can mount to levels that start affecting the individual target. Some signs of verbal bullying include things such as being withdrawn, becoming moody or a change in appetite.

Social Bullying- Social bullying, referred to as overt bullying, is often hard to recognize and can be carried out behind the target back. It’s often done to harm someone’s social status and/or to cause humiliation. Signs of this type of bullying include shifting towards being alone, mood changes and becoming withdrawn from a group of friends. Examples of this type of social bullying include:

  • Lying and spreading rumors
  • Rudely mimicking someone
  • Playing nasty tricks to embarrass and humiliate
  • Negative facial or physical gestures
  • Encouraging others to exclude someone
  • Damaging someone’s social acceptance or reputation

Cyber Bullying- This certain type of bullying can be overt and covert bullying behavior. The bully would use digital technologies, including hardware like computers and smartphones, and software such as social media, texts, websites and other online platforms. Cyber can happen both in public or private and sometimes only the target and the bully know it’s occurring. Signs of cyber bulling may involve your child, after being on their phone or social media sites, more and becoming sad or anxious afterward. Cyber bullying includes:

  • Abusive or mean text messages or posts, images or videos
  • Purposely excluding others online
  • Posting nasty gossip or rumors online
  • Imitating people online or using their log-in to hurt them

If your child does approach you about being bullied or someone else being bullied, be sure to be supportive, praise them for the courage letting you know, and calmly gather information about the situation at hand. Always take action when it comes to bullying, especially if it becomes persistent or severe, by contacting your child’s teacher or principal to help monitor the situation until it stops completely.

If you’d like to learn about how you can put an end to bullying, contact Simple Acts of Care and Kindness at 866-459-7225. Or visit www.simpleacts.org for additional information regarding the different types bullying.

Understanding & Overcoming Bullying | SACK of Corona, Ca

ThinkstockPhotos-480003524Individuals bully for a number of reasons, understanding why they bully can help you overcome bullying or help others who may be being bullied move past it as well. The truth is bullies are basically lashing out as a form of concealing their own troubles or shortcomings.

Reasons why a bully is bullying:

-To look or appear powerful

-Because they themselves are being bullied

-To make themselves popular

-They are jealous of you

-To escape their own problems

Tip #1: Understand the truth about bullying

  • Walk away from the bully. Bullies want to know they have control over your emotions so don’t react with anger or retaliate with physical force. If you walk away, ignore them, or calmly and assertively tell them you’re not interested in what they have to say, you’re demonstrating that they don’t have control over you.
  • Protect yourself. If you can’t walk away and are being physically hurt, protect yourself so you can get away. Your safety is the first priority.
  • Report the bullying to a trusted adult. If you don’t report threats and assaults, a bully will often become more and more aggressive. In many cases adults can find ways to help with the problem without letting the bully know it was you who reported them.
  • Repeat as necessary. Like the bully, you may have to be relentless. Report each and every bullying incident until it stops. There is no reason for you to ever put up with bullying.

Tip #2: Reframe the problem of bullying

By changing your attitude towards bullying you can help regain a sense of control.

  • Try to view bullying from a different perspective. The bully is an unhappy, frustrated person who wants to have control over your feelings so that you feel as badly as they do. Don’t give them the satisfaction.
  • Look at the big picture. Bullying can be extremely painful, but try asking yourself how important it will seem to you in the long run. Will it matter in a year? Is it worth getting so upset over? If the answer is no, focus your time and energy elsewhere.
  • Focus on the positive. Reflect on all the things you appreciate in your life, including your own positive qualities and gifts. Make a list and refer to it whenever you feel down.
  • Find the humor. If you’re relaxed enough to recognize the absurdity of a bullying situation, and to comment on it with humor, you’ll likely no longer be an interesting target for a bully.
  • Don’t try to control the uncontrollable. Many things in life are beyond our control—including the behavior of other people. Rather than stressing, focus on the things you can control such as the way you choose to react to bullies.

Tip #3: Find support from those who don’t bully

Having trusted people you can turn to for encouragement and support will boost your resilience when being bullied. Reach out to connect with family and real friends (those who don’t participate in bullying) or explore ways of making new friends. There are plenty of people who will love and appreciate you for who you are.

  • Find others who share your same values and interests. You may be able to make friends at a youth group, book club, or religious organization. Learn a new sport, join a team, or take up a new hobby such as chess, art, or music.
  • Share your feelings. Talk to a parent, counselor, coach, religious leader, or trusted friend. Expressing what you’re going through can make a huge difference to the way you feel, even if it doesn’t change the situation.
  • Boost your confidence. Exercise is a great way to help you feel good about yourself, as well as reduce stress. Punch a mattress or take a kick boxing class to work off your anger.
  • Don’t beat yourself up. Don’t make a bullying incident worse by dwelling on it or replaying it over and over in your head. Instead, focus on positive experiences you’ve had(Source: help guide.org).

It’s important to keep in mind that it’s probably the bully thats actually suffering and not to dwell on it or think you’re less than. Recovering from bullying can take time, and everyone heals at his or her own pace. However, if you do find yourself dwelling on the incident(s), it’s important for you to seek help from a parent, school counselors, a teacher or a professional therapist.

What Can You Do If You See Someone Being Bullied? | SACK of Corona, Ca

BystanderWhen you help someone who’s being bullied, you may also help yourself. It can feel great to support someone in need and to stand up for what you believe! Many of us see someone being bullied at some point. It may be easier to just stand by, or even to laugh. But if you are brave and kind, you can be a real hero. Remember, the person being bullied may feel awful and all alone.

Bullying usually involves one or more people teasing, being violent towards, or harassing somebody on an ongoing basis. Bullying can happen in person and online and through cell phones.

What can you do if you see or know someone being bullied?

  • Stand up for the person. If it feels safe, defend the person being bullied. Bullies often care a lot about being popular and powerful. If you make the bullying seem uncool, the bully may stop.
  • Tell an adult. If you feel uncomfortable telling an adult, ask the adult to keep your comments private.
  • Encourage the bullied person to talk to an adult. Offer to go with them.
  • Offer support. Ask if the person is okay. Be friendly the next day. You can make a big difference just by showing you care.
  • Don’t join in or watch bullying. Bullies love an audience. Walk away, and see if you can get others to leave, too. Of course, don’t just abandon someone who is in real danger. Go get help.
  • Stop any rumors. If someone tells you gossip, don’t pass it on to others. You wouldn’t want someone spreading rumors about you(Source: girlshealth.gov).

If you see someone being bullied and you don’t do anything to help them then it will just continue and may get worse. People who are being bullied can feel really distressed and it can have a serious impact on their life and health. In very serious cases bullying could lead to self harming, or even suicidal thoughts. Often other people at school don’t realize the effect that bullying has when it goes on day in day out. If the bullying involves violence or threats, or if you think your classmate is in danger of getting hurt or harming herself, talk to an adult about it right away.

For more information call us at 866-459-7225 or visit our website at http://simpleacts.org

What is Bullying? | SACK of Corona, Ca

Bullying happens everywhere and no one type of person is immune. But, what does the word make you think of? For some people, it’s that girl at school who always makes fun of them. For others, it’s the biggest guy in the neighborhood who’s always trying to beat them up or take their things. Sometimes “bully” means a whole group of kids, ganging up on someone else. No matter what situation or form it comes in, bullying can make you feel depressed, hurt, and alone. It can keep you from enjoying the activities and places that are part of your life.

No-Bullying

Let’s start by looking at the different kinds of bullying:

Physical bullying means:

  • Hitting, kicking, or pushing someone…or even just threatening to do it
  • Stealing, hiding or ruining someone’s things
  • Making someone do things he or she don’t want to do

Verbal bullying means:

  • Name-calling
  • Teasing
  • Insulting

Relationship bullying means:

  • Refusing to talk to someone
  • Spreading lies or rumors about someone
  • Making someone do things he or she doesn’t want to do(Source: http://pbskids.org)

What do all these things have in common? They’re examples of ways one person can make another person feel hurt, afraid, or uncomfortable. When these are done to someone more than once, and usually over and over again for a long period of time, that’s bullying.

But why should something that can make a person so miserable have to be part of growing up? The answer is, it doesn’t!

So what can you do?

  • SPEAK UP: If you feel uncomfortable with the comments or actions of someone… tell someone! It is better to let a trusted adult know, than to let the problem continue.
  • Get familiar with what bullying is and what it is not.  If you recognize any of the descriptions, you should stay calm, stay respectful, and tell an adult as soon as possible.
  • If you feel like you are at risk of harming yourself or others get help now!

Someone is bullying me online or via text message

  • Remember, bullying does not only happen at school. It can happen anywhere, including through texting, the internet and social media.
  • Learn more about cyber-bullying and how to respond if it is happening to you.

Sometimes people bully because they are having problems in some way in their lives, and they need help with other difficult things that are happening to them. You can inspire your community to stand up to intolerance and create a diverse environment where everyone is safe, accepted and included.

For more information call us at 866-459-7225 or visit our website at http://simpleacts.org

4 Easy Steps We Can All Take To Stop Bullying | San Bernardino, CA

To begin to foster a society of caring, respect, and awareness starts with a few steps that are simple but can make the biggest change possible.

1. Increasing Your Own Awareness

Recognizing when bullying is taking place is an important first step in finding solutions.  By understanding the reason and roots of the problem, you will begin to form an idea of how to start proactively working to address bullying.  This includes teasing, name-calling, shunning, and physical intimidation or assault.  Does your school, sports club, or youth group create a culture of respect, caring, and safety for everyone?  Are children supervised appropriately during recess, lunch and before and after school?  Do educators and staff have adequate support and training for addressing bullying and recognize the different forms that bullying can appear as?

2. Respond To Situations Forcefully but Respectfully

When you see bullying taking place or hear about it, remember that your reactions provide a framework for how the kids involved will respond to and understand the situation.  Children need to see adults being powerful and respectful in reacting to problems.  If adults in charge get upset and overreact, children are more likely to imitate adult actions and might even avoid telling adults about future situations.  Staying calm, respectful, and persistent will make you more effective in talking to children in bullying situations.

3. Teach Your Kids Defensive Skills

Positive peer to peer relationship skills help to put a stop to bullying.  Teach children that they have the confidence and power to walk away from any situation.  They can make safe choices like stepping out of a line or changing seats.  Sometimes all that is needed to make bullying problem stop.  Ensure that your child is active in getting help and is prepared to continue to ask for help even if an adult does not respond immediately to the situation.

4. Become Involved

Keep yourself informed as to what other parents and adults in your community are doing to stop bullying.  Insist that your child’s school and school district has a mandatory district-wide anti-bullying policy and that they educate their staff on how to stop bullying and recognizing all forms and types of youth bullying.  Write to your county- and state-level officials and tell them of the seriousness of bullying and demand they make it a top priority in their campaigns.

“I would rather be a little nobody, then to be a evil somebody.”
― Abraham Lincoln

For more information about how you can help call us at 866-459-7225 or visit our website at http://simpleacts.org