It’s Got to Stop Somewhere | Corona, CA

We all would like to live in a world where bullying doesn’t exist, but these days it feels like it is getting worse than ever. Everywhere you look, someone is bullying someone for something and at times it feels like it’s never going to end. And it needs to begin within ourselves. But where do we even begin to make the changes that will spread to our neighbors? Here are a few simple rules to keep in mind for you and your family. It all begins at home – let’s teach our children how to be better.

Can you recognize a bully? Recognizing when bullying is taking place is an important step in finding solutions. By understanding the reason and roots of the problem, you and yours will begin to form an idea of how to spot bullying, like teasing, name-calling, shunning, and physical intimidation or assault.

When you see or hear about bullying taking place, remember that your reactions provide a framework for how the little ones involved will respond to and understand the situation. Children need to see adults being powerful and respectful in reacting to problems – stay calm, respectful, and persistent.

Positive peer to peer relationship skills help to put a stop to bullying. Teach children that they have the confidence and power to walk away from any situation, like stepping out of a line or changing seats. 

Lastly, keep yourself informed as to what your child’s school and school district have a mandatory district-wide anti-bullying policy and that they educate their staff on how to stop bullying and recognizing all forms and types of youth bullying.

If you would like to learn more about bully prevention, contact Simple Acts of Care and Kindness at 866-459-7225 or visit www.simpleacts.org for additional information.

Bully Prevention at School | Corona, CA

It’s a scary thought, but bullied students are more likely to take a weapon to school, get involved in physical fights, and suffer from anxiety, depression and other health problems, both physical and mental. And research suggests that schools where students report a more severe bullying climate score worse on standardized assessments than schools with a better climate. This is why it is so important for everyone to prevent all types of bullying whenever possible. As a leader of a school, effectively addressing a bullying problem requires a culture change and it’s your duty to take the helm when needed…

Assess the issues. It is necessary to know what the problem is before we try to solve it. Take the time to survey students, staff and parents to find out how much and what type of bullying is going, as well as where and when, to target prevention efforts.

Enforcing a schoolwide code of conduct. Rules teach the right and wrong ways to behave. Having these rules reinforce school values and clearly define unacceptable behavior and consequences. Empower bystanders, teachers and especially students, for help by training them to identify and respond to inappropriate behavior.

Increase adult supervision. Most bullying happens when adults are not present, so make sure an adult is visible and vigilant in hallways, stairwells, cafeterias and locker rooms, as well as on buses and the way to and from school for students who walk.

Conduct bullying prevention activities. School assemblies, communications campaigns or creative arts contests are all fun, spirit-building ways of highlighting school values to bring the community together and reinforce the message that bullying is wrong.

If you would like to learn more about bully prevention, contact Simple Acts of Care and Kindness at 866-459-7225 or visit www.simpleacts.org for additional information.

What You Can Do to Stop Bullying | Corona, CA

bullying

Bullying is a terrible thing to witness. Not only is it mean, but the victim of the bullying is hurt. When you do nothing, you send the message that bullying is acceptable. If you ignore or minimize the problem, victims will not believe that adults understand or care, or that they can help. And if you don’t intervene, their peers won’t either. So, when you see someone being bullied, take a moment to step in and help stop it. Not sure how to do it? Here are some simple ways to make a difference:

Intervene immediately. Stand between or near the victim and the bully, separating them if necessary, so as to stop the bullying behaviors. For young children, consider removing them from the situation to a “time-out” area or room. Remain calm but convey the seriousness of the situation. Announce that the bullying must stop. Describe the behavior you observed and why it is unacceptable.

Get help if needed. If the bully is using physical force, or there is more than one bully, you may need to find another adult to help keep children safe and protect yourself.

Don’t impose immediate consequences. Make sure you gather all the information before deciding the best course of disciplinary action and refrain from punishing the bully in front of peers.

Don’t ask children to “work things out” for themselves.  Bullying is different from an argument or conflict – it involves a power imbalance that requires adult intervention.

Give praise and show appreciation to helpful bystanders.  Children who try to help the victim or stop the bully are key to bullying prevention.

Stick around. Remain in the area until you are sure the behavior has stopped.

If you would like to learn more about bullying prevention, contact Simple Acts of Care and Kindness at 866-459-7225 or visit www.simpleacts.org for additional information.

Students at Risk for Bullying | Corona, CA

There’s no doubt that bullying has become a problematic epidemic in the United States, but just how much of a problem has it become? Whether it be cyber bullying or bullying in real life, just about everyone has experienced some degree of bullying throughout their lifetime. Though some children and teens experience bullying at high rates and with more persistence than others, just about every child around the country is mostly likely going to have some type of connection to bullying.

Sadly, children and teens that are considered different than others are the most frequent targets of bullies. Youth with disabilities; gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) students; students that are overweight; and students that are perceived as weak or insecure are the most likely targets of bullies. However, even if a child does have these risk factors, it doesn’t mean they will get bullied.

The problem really stems from the fact that many bullied students will not speak up when it happens, for fear of retaliation, not being believed, etc. And sadly, we continue to hear how this bullying is affecting the students directly – at times having an incredibly tragic end. We, as adults, need to be able to make our children feel comfortable with speaking up without feeling scared to do so.

In addition, parents and teachers that are in close contact with children on the school’s campus need to help put bullying to an end. It takes a village to raise a child – we all need to come together to support and accept one another to help reduces these alarming statistics as a community.

If you would like to learn more about bullying, contact Simple Acts of Care and Kindness at 866-459-7225 or visit www.simpleacts.org for additional information.

See Something, Say Something | Corona, CA

bullying

No one wants to be bullied, and no one wants to someone being bullied. Unfortunately, there are many ways students can get bullied growing up, especially since the creation of the internet. Sometimes it feels like there are more bullies than not. But there is a way we can prevent bullies from taking control and hurting others. So, you have to ask yourself – when you see or hear bullying, what should you do? Here are just a few suggestions…

Intervene immediately. When you do nothing, you send the message that bullying is acceptable, and victims will begin to believe that adults don’t understand or care. Intervene, even if you’re not sure it’s bullying. Observing children’s actions, words, body language, and facial expressions will help you determine if bullying is occurring. Separate them, if necessary, so as to stop the bullying behaviors.

Get help. If the bully is using physical force, or there is more than one bully, you may need to find another adult to help keep children safe and protect yourself.

Avoid lecturing the bully in front of his or her peers. Your goal is to end the behavior, not humiliate or shame the bully. Rather than serving as a deterrent, lecturing and scolding often give the bully the attention they’re craving. Allow yourself time to consider the incident and obtain any clarifying information—then decide the best course of action.

Give praise and show appreciation to helpful bystanders. Children who try to help the victim or stop the bully are key to bullying prevention. Thanking these little good Samaritans will only increase their desire to continue.

If you would like to learn more about bullying prevention, contact Simple Acts of Care and Kindness at 866-459-7225 or visit www.simpleacts.org for additional information.

Mean Girls Isn’t Just a Movie | Corona, CA

If you’ve ever seen the classic movie, Mean Girls, you know that girls don’t really take feelings into consideration when they choose to prey on another girl. It’s a dog eat dog world, especially in schools and sadly, girls are often worse than boys in that they use verbal abuse over physical bullying. Most Anti-bullying programs don’t look at friendship issues, but for girls, that’s where the aggression usually happens. Here are some tips that can help:

Start by building strong connections at home. You want to be understanding and a good listener. But that doesn’t mean asking questions that can be leading or suggest that she has been wronged.

Validate the range of emotions she is experiencing are valid. Help your daughter understand that all emotions, both positive and negative, are normal.  Remind her that bad emotions don’t make her a bad girl. By allowing her anger or irritation to play out will help her calm down quicker than if you just play down the situation.

Avoid problem-solving for her. You want your daughter to learn how to handle herself in these situations and in life. Be there for her and don’t just tell her what to do. Helping her work through what is going on by asking her questions.

Try role play to work through the problem. Help your daughter hold her ground with her own strong but not aggressive statements. Sometimes, a better idea is to start developing new friendships and avoid that “friend.”

If you would like to learn more about what you can do to prevent bullying, contact Simple Acts of Care and Kindness at 866-459-7225 or visit www.simpleacts.org for additional information.

4 Simple Solutions We All Can Do To Stop Bullying | Corona, CA

Kids in classBeginning to foster a culture of caring, respect, and awareness starts with a few simple steps that make the biggest change:

1. Increase Your Own Awareness

Realizing when bullying is taking place is a necessary first step in finding solutions. By understanding the scope and roots of the problem, you will get an idea of how to start proactively working to address bullying, including teasing, name-calling, shunning, and physical intimidation or assault. Does your school, sports club, or youth group create a culture of respect, caring, and safety for everyone? Are children appropriately supervised during recess periods, lunch and before and after school?  Do educators have adequate support and training for addressing bullying?

2. Respond Forceful and Respectfully

If you see bullying take place or hear about it, remember that your reactions provide a context for how the kids involved will respond to and interpret the situation. Kids need to see adults being powerful and respectful in responding to problems. If parents or teachers get upset and overreact, kids are more likely to get upset and might even avoid telling adults about future problems. Staying calm, respectful, and persistent will make you more effective in talking to administrators, educators youth group leaders, or parents about their response to a bullying problem. Not everybody reacts in a helpful way when first approached so be prepared to persist.

3. Teach Your Kids Protective Skills

Positive peer relationship skills help to prevent and stop bullying. Tell your children that they have the confidence and power to walk away from any situation. Making safe choices like stepping out of a line or changing seats is sometimes all that is needed to make a bullying problem stop. Ensure that your child is persistent in getting help and is prepared to continue to ask for help even if an adult does not respond immediately.

4. Become Involved

Know what other parents and adults in your community are doing to stop bullying. Insist that your child’s school has a mandatory district-wide anti-bullying policy and educates their staff on diffusing and recognizing all forms and types of youth bullying. Write to your county- and state-level officials telling them of the seriousness of bullying and demand they make it a top priority in their campaigns.

If you would like to learn more about bullying and what you can do to prevent it, contact Simple Acts of Care and Kindness at 866-459-7225 or visit www.simpleacts.org for additional information regarding bullying.

The Story of Lizzie Velasquez Could Become the Most Inspiring Film Against Cyber-Bullying Yet

We’ve seen many documentaries on bullying. We’ve seen them about kids bullied at school, and we’ve seen them about kids bullied on the Internet. We don’t see much on adults who’ve been bullied, but that is something that exists, often at the workplace. Cyber-bullying doesn’t only occur with kids, either. Although Lizzie Velasquez was a teenager when she became the victim of online bullying, the person responsible for posting a YouTube video labeling her as “The Ugliest Woman in the World” might have been an adult. Same with all the hateful commenters.

The type of bullying that Velasquez has experienced is similar to the issue I have with critics who pass moral or physical judgement on documentary subjects. It’s similar to the way our culture has been cruel overall but is now exposed more through the Internet, whether through social media or professional or amateur posts on the web. Celebrities are victims of cyber-bullying all the time and are thought to be deserving of it because they’re on TV or something. But we’re all out there on screens today, and that makes us all susceptible to bullying. And none of us deserve it.

Velasquez has turned her situation into a campaign against bullying, and she’s been a big hit on talk shows and a very successful TEDx event in Austin last December. Now she’s going to be the subject of a documentary. The film will tell her life story, how she was born with a very rare disease that has caused her partial blindness and makes her incapable of gaining body fat. More importantly it will show how she has overcome her physical hardships as well as the social hardships that her disease has led to. Currently titled The Lizzie Project, this documentary is in the midst of a crowdfunding campaign on Kickstarter, and after 10 days they’ve raised 37% of the $180k goal.

The director of the film is Sara Bordo, an executive producer of that TEDxAustinWomen event featuring Velasquez. The two women met there and Bordo decided that it was necessary for them to work together on something else. “After the event, I started spending more time with Lizzie, her incredible parents Rita and Lupe, and her fantastic sister Marina and brother Chris,” Bordo told us via email. “I knew there was so much more that people could learn from her life and her story — far more than what an 18-minute TEDx talk could allow. She and her family have been waiting to tell their story for some time, and even more so waiting to find someone they were comfortable with to bring it to life. I don’t take the opportunity lightly, and I’m hopeful to treat her message with the authenticity that it deserves.”

The Lizzie Project won’t be just some documentary telling the inspiring story of adversity centered around a singular individual with a rare disease. Velasquez is fighting for everyone who has been or could be the victim of harassment like the bullying she dealt with or some other sort. “The documentary is necessary simply because we’re losing way too many young kids to online bullying and it needs to be addressed,” she explains to us, also via email. “I know first hand how devastating it can be, but in sharing MY story, I hope to be the example of what’s possible when you choose to come out on the other side of being bullied.”

Velasquez has an amazing effect on people, and it’s easy to believe that she will be that example that is needed for this issue. As you can see in the Kickstarter video below, she even has a ton of celebrities who stand beside her in supporting the cause and this film, including Kristen Bell, Bryce Dallas Howard, Hilary Duff, Felicia Dey, Noah Segan, Ross Mathews and Bill and Giuliana Rancic.
Source:

Read more at http://nonfics.com/lizzie-velasquez-documentary/#E2yUgcv7gpWJyq6x.99

Bullying Facts and Solutions | Corona, CA

Despite all of the media attention that has been given to the mostly tragic consequences of bullying, you simply need to scan the comments sections in on-line articles regarding bullying to sadly see what percentage of adults stay in the dark while not really understanding the negative impact that bullying has on such a large amount of kids on a daily basis.

Below are some of the facts and statistics that we’ve found that make the most important impact on how adults and parents begin to understand bullying as an issue, not just in their community, but also throughout the entire country as well.

Bullying Facts and Statistics

  • 160,000 children within the United States stay home each day due to bullying situations.
  • Eighty-three percent of bullying incidents receive no intervention and continue to happen.
  • Those who bully are four times as likely to participate in criminal behavior in adulthood and frequently develop self-destructive thoughts
  • There are four types of bullying: physical, verbal, cyber,  and social. Male bullying a lot of the time consists of verbal and physical abuse, whereas female bullying a lot of the time involves verbal abuse, cyber, and social bullying by spreading of rumors.
  • Only half of educators have received coaching on the way to handle bullying incidents.  Not teaching educators a way to handle bullying is like not training doctors to treat the flu!
  • Children are additional more likely to receive verbal assaults targeting their appearances and behaviors instead of race or spiritual beliefs.  In several cases, bullies felt that the victim was responsible for these behaviors or appearances.
  • A study by the National School Board Administration reported that 33.1% of the Middle and High School students that participated in the study agreed or strongly agreed that teachers and adults can stop bullying.  This implies that 2/3 of those students don’t seem to be assured that they will get the help they need in bullying situations from their teachers or other adults in power.
  • In 2005, approximately 1 out of 10 internet users aged 10-17 had been the victim of cyber bullying and “on-line harassment”.  Half of victims that were bullied off-line and on-line by one single individual reported being extremely troubled by the incidents.

“If there are no heroes to save you, Then you be the hero”
― Quoted from a Japanese Comic book

Contact Simple Acts of Care and Kindness today at 866-459-7225 or visit our website for more information.

Contact Simple Acts of Care and Kindness proudly serves Norco, Riverside, Lake Elsinore, San Bernardino, Eastvale and surrounding areas.

Mean Girl Bullying…. What adults can do! | Corona, CA

Do schools and teachers pick up on this happening?

Often parents and teachers dismiss the mean girl behavior as part of being a girl.  They often say, “It’s what girls do,” or “Girls will be girls.” Often with younger elementary school girls, parents are not as tuned in to the situation to watch out for this type of behavior because it just seems that the girls are too young for it to be happening to them. But if you talk to teachers, they will tell you they see it on a daily basis.

Many Anti-bullying programs focus only on managing physical aggression, so the issue of mean girls fall outside the scope of the majority of programs. Boys often tend to be more physical, so when there is a fight on the playground with one child being aggressive towards another, there is cause for concern. The school does not want a child physically injured.

Most Anti-bullying programs don’t look at friendship issues, but for girls, that’s where the aggression usually happens.

What can you do when the bully is the girl’s best friend?

If safety is issue and your child is in danger or endangering someone else, get professional help.

Preparing girls for what they might face with a new classroom full of girls is a great idea. Every year there are different  in the classroom. Here are some tips that can help:

  • Start by building strong connections at home. You want to be understanding and a good listener. But that doesn’t mean asking questions that can be leading or suggest that she has been wronged.
  • Validate the range of emotions she is experiencing are valid. Help your daughter understand that all emotions, both positive and negative, are normal.  Remind her that bad emotions don’t make her a bad girl. Try telling her things like, “I understand  how angry you are about what happened. It hurts our feelings when friends are mean.” By allowing your her anger or irritation to play out will help her calm down quicker than if you just play down the situation.
  • Avoid problem-solving for her. You want your daughter to learn how to handle herself in these situations and in life. Be there for her and don’t just tell her what to do. Helping her work through what is going on by asking her questions like, “I understand that your friends are telling everyone that you’re poor and you shop at the thrift store. Why do you think she is she doing that?” Help her understand what is going on in the situation.
  • Try role play to work through the problem. Help by practicing with your daughter her responses to bullying but asking questions like, “Why are you worried about my clothes? If you really are my friend, then why would you be so worried about this?” Help your daughter hold her ground with her own strong but not aggressive statements. Or, if your family has had enough of the situation, a better idea is to start developing new friendships and avoid that “friend.”
  • Work with teachers and school staff. At this young age, girls look up to their teachers and other adults at the school. If they see an exclusion situation happening, sometimes these adults can offer your daughter an opportunity to join him or her for lunch or a special activity to increase her “social value.”

Contact Simple Acts of Care and Kindness today at 866-459-7225 or visit our website for more information.

Contact Simple Acts of Care and Kindness proudly serves Norco, Riverside, Lake Elsinore, San Bernardino, Eastvale and surrounding areas.