Recovery from Bullying Is a Lifelong Process | Corona, CA

Posted June 28, 2016 | Reviewed by Ekua Hagan

If you are the victim of bullying, please find someone to talk to about it. If you are in school, try to find a trusted teacher or school counselor. There are a variety of online support groups as well. Journal about it. Make art projects and try to connect to your feelings. The biggest thing is not to abandon yourself in the process. You also get to speak up and say “No!” to the bully and do what you can to remain at a safe distance. Please get support and know that you matter and that you’re not alone. Additional resources can be found here.

If you are a survivor of bullying, the same advice applies. Speak out about it. Revisit what happened and really acknowledge how you felt and also how you may have internalized what happened and beat yourself up for it. Be kind and gentle with yourself and notice any residual consequences. How do you handle groups of people now? What happens when you begin to feel left out of a group? Notice the immediate self-talk and/or reaction to run, argue with someone else, and/or dissociate.

If you are or were an onlooker, take note of your feelings. Are (or were) you scared to confront the bully? Were you worried you’d be next? What can you do to repair with the victim? Can you be brave and tell the bully that the behavior is not kind, or can you make a stand by saying out loud that you don’t find it acceptable and physically walk-away? Are there other things you can do to support anti-bullying initiatives (at school or in your community)? Can you write about it and begin talking to safe people about how you feel when witnessing bullying?

If you are (or were) the bully, what can you do to empathize with the person you are bullying (or have bullied)? What are you getting from bullying someone? Can you journal about it and try to really feel what the other person feels? Can you talk to someone safe about the thrill you may get when harming someone? Is it possible you can do things to stop bullying and help support anti-bullying activities? Is there a way you can repair with the person you have bullied? Can you speak out the next time you witness a person bullying another person?

If you are a school administrator or teacher, there are numerous bullying programs available at this time with tangible things you can do. Also, try to pay attention to your own internal reactions to bullying. Do you find yourself inadvertently engaging in microaggressions and unconscious prejudices that reinforce bully and victim statuses? Do you also have a support group and a place where everyone can talk about it with each other? Does your school engage in a culture of openness and flexibility or is it succumbing to old, entrenched bullying patterns? What can you do to speak out in little ways each day to support inclusion, empathy, and equality for all?

We are social creatures and we need each other for survival. That means we need the victims, the onlookers, and even the bullies. We don’t need an enemy to keep us together. Instead, we can focus on growth and ask ourselves what our own individual experiences are teaching us about ourselves. We can also find peace by trusting the greater ethereal forces that unite all of life. We are part of a greater whole.

Mother of Family Therapy Virginia Satir stated, “We need four hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth.”

If you would like to learn more about bullying prevention tips, contact Simple Acts of Care and Kindness at 866-459-7225 or visit www.simpleacts.org for additional information.

My son has been bullying an overweight kid — and I feel like a failure | Corona, CA

By Andrew Court | November 22, 2021 – 2:09pm Updated

A distraught mom has taken to TikTok saying she feels like a failure after learning her 7-year-old son is a bully. The mom, named Beth, posted an emotional video to the social media site last week detailing the moment she learned her boy had attacked an overweight peer while onboard a school bus.

“I feel like a failure,” Beth wrote beneath the clip, which has been viewed more than 1.5 million times.

“My son came home telling me another parent threatened him for ‘accidentally’ knocking his son’s glasses off his face,” she explained. “I believed every word that came out of his mouth.” Beth decided to speak with the school bus driver after her son told her that the incident occurred onboard the vehicle — and she was stunned by what she found out next.

“The driver explained to me how this child is heavyset and he can’t get off the bus quickly. He told me how my child was shoving this boy down the aisle because he wasn’t ‘fast enough,’” the mom stated. “My child ripped the boy’s glasses off his face and threw them to the back of the bus.”

Beth said she was left “heartbroken” after learning of the incident — and it really hit home, as she herself had been bullied about her weight when she was a child.

“I do not condone this behavior and it is NOT tolerated,” the mom said, as she sobbed on-screen.

“I don’t know where to go from here. I’m obviously doing something wrong,” she emotional parent confessed.

Beth explained that she was making her son apologize to the boy and inviting him over to her house so the pair could play together.

She then shared a second video, directly addressing the bullied child, which was set to the song “You Are Enough” by Sleeping At Last.

“I’ve spent hours thinking about how my son degraded you and it makes me sick,” Beth wrote. “I will do better.”

The mom was inundated with comments beneath her videos, with many praising her for taking action.

“The fact that you aren’t letting this slide means you’re doing a great job,” one viewer wrote.

“You’re an amazing mama. I can’t tell you how RARE what you did is. You investigated and are helping your son make a better choice,” another added.

Beth later updated her followers, saying that her son’s playdate with the bullied boy went well. “They have a lot in common and get along great,” she stated.

If you would like to learn more about bullying prevention tips, contact Simple Acts of Care and Kindness at 866-459-7225 or visit www.simpleacts.org for additional information.

When It Comes to Bullying of LGBTQ Teens Local Politics Matters | Corona, CA

By Cara Murez, HealthDay Reporter

THURSDAY, July 22, 2021 (HealthDay News) — Youth who identify as LGBTQ+ suffer more bullying at their schools when they live in areas with politically conservative voting records, a new study finds.

School boards should do more to implement policies that go beyond minimum protections for LGBTQ+ youth, regardless of political affiliation, the researchers suggested.

“To my knowledge, nobody has really looked at this connection between a school district’s political attitudes and the experiences of LGBTQ+ students in schools,” said study co-author Paul Kwon, a professor of psychology at Washington State University. “This project highlights an inequity that is not talked about a lot and shows the need for more explicit and inclusive anti-bullying legislation and policies that help mitigate the risks to LGBTQ+ youth, regardless of district political attitudes.”

The study examined school district voting records in the 2016 presidential election, as well as bullying experiences in schools and mental health outcomes of LGBTQ+ students in Washington state using the 2018 Washington State Healthy Youth Survey. The survey included 50,000 students in grades eight to 12, asking about sexual and gender identity, bullying and whether or not teachers intervened during instances of bullying. About 20% of the students included in the survey identified as being LGBTQ+.

Researchers found that LGBTQ+ students are at a higher risk for psychological distress and suicidal thoughts as a result of bullying, particularly in school districts that voted for former President Donald Trump in the 2016 election. These students also reported their teachers were less likely to intervene in instances of bullying than students who responded from more liberal voting districts. The study only found an association between political leanings, bullying and teacher intervention; it wasn’t designed to prove a cause-and-effect link.

In areas where teachers intervened almost always, instances of bullying for LGBTQ+ students matched their non-LGBTQ+ peers, whereas without intervention the LGBTQ+ students reported more bullying.

“This was especially prevalent in more conservative school districts where LGBTQ+ youth report less teacher intervention despite experiencing more bullying,” Kwon said in a university news release. “Over 35% of youth in our study are students in a conservative-leaning school district, possibly placing them at greater risk for more bullying experiences and higher psychological distress.”

The researchers suggested school policy should include explicit parameters for training and education for teachers regarding LGBTQ+ bullying, as well as steps for teachers and administrators to intervene following LGBTQ+ bullying experiences. All school websites should explicitly describe anti-bullying policies as they relate to LGBTQ+ youth using specific examples, the authors said.

“We also recommend educators discuss anti-bullying policy with students and families at the start of each school year, while concurrently highlighting LGBTQ+ identities, particularly in conservative districts,” Kwon said. “After all, students have little choice in the school they attend, almost no choice in the school district they belong to and are unable to vote until they are 18. Thus, they are subjected to the environment of the school and broader culture of the school district chosen for them.”

The findings were published recently in the journal Analyses of Social Issues and Public Policy.

The Trevor Lifeline provides LGBTQ+ individuals with crisis intervention and suicide prevention help.

SOURCE: Washington State University, news release, July 19, 2021

If you would like to learn more about anti-bullying efforts, contact Simple Acts of Care and Kindness at 866-459-7225 or visit www.simpleacts.org for additional information.

Child Protection Week Kicks Off with Launch of Anti-Bullying Campaign | Corona, CA

Bullying is a worldwide issue. Sometimes it’s nice to see how other countries are working to prevent it.

By Chulumanco Mahamba Time of article published 10h ago

Johannesburg – Basic Education Deputy Minister Dr Reginah Mhaule has urged parents to pay attention to the behaviour of their children and speak to them regularly about school.

This came as the department launched an anti-bullying campaign.

The Department of Basic Education partnered with sister departments, social partners, and key stakeholders to roll out its school violence and bullying prevention initiative on Friday at Tshepana Primary School in Orange Farm.

Child Protection Week started on Sunday, and will run until June 6 under the theme, Let us protect children during Covid-19 and Beyond.

The intervention against bullying came after 15-year-old Limpopo learner Lufuno Mavhunga committed suicide after the release of a video of her being repeatedly slapped by a fellow learner last month. After the incident, bullying and violence in schools took centre stage in the national conversation on safety in schools.

Speaking at the launch, Mhaule spoke about the importance of parents and guardians playing a role in school activities and being equipped with tools to make a meaningful contribution to the success of their children.

“Sometimes when incidents happen, we indicate that the child did speak but we did not listen and we did not take it seriously. I am saying to the parents, let’s observe the attitude and behaviour of our children,” she said.

Mhaule added that if parents saw their children behaving badly or they did not want to go to school, they must dig deeper in case it was related to bullying.

“Parents must pay attention to the behaviour of their children and speak to them regularly about school,” she said.

Deputy Minister of Communications and Digital Technologies, Pinky Kekana, cautioned parents about giving their children cellphones too early and the risk they might have to their well-being.

“Your behaviour on social media is very important. There are dos and don’ts. If you know you cannot say something to someone face-to-face, don’t say it on social media,” Kekana told the learners.

Deputy Minister of Home Affairs, Njabulo Nzuza, spoke to the learners about the ID registration services that the department brought to the community.

“It might seem like a very small issue having an identity, an ID number, ID document or even a birth certificate. If you don’t have an ID number, you become what they call invisible, and even after you have passed on in life, not even your great-grandchildren will know you existed,” the deputy minister said.

During the launch, the department revealed a mural at the school, which would serve as a reminder to learners that with every right, as set in the Constitution, came responsibilities.

“We call on all learners to appreciate that their rights are inseparable from the duties and responsibilities towards others,” it said.

If you would like to learn more about anti-bullying efforts in other countries, contact Simple Acts of Care and Kindness at 866-459-7225 or visit www.simpleacts.org for additional information.

Anti-Bullying Webcasts | Corona, CA

Being in a pandemic is not only rough on us mentally; but can also begin to take a toll on our relationships. Thankfully, there are lots of resources you can turn to if you feel that you or someone in your life is being affected by bullying. The more information we can gain about how to actively treat a situation, the easier it will be to correct a bad situation before it gets out of hand and causes more issues. Here are just a few webcasts to give you some handy tips:

Anti-Bullying Supports for Peers: Be an Upstander

Be an Upstander is a video for use with middle and high-school students. It demonstrates strategies that can turn bystanders (persons not directly involved in the bullying incident) into Upstanders, those who can help diffuse a bullying situation.

Anti-Bullying Strategies and Supports for Families: Supporting Individuals with Special Needs

We believe that all persons have the right to live life as the persons they are, with their similarities and differences to others, and not live in fear of being bullied.  This webcast shares a little bit about bullying in general, how it applies to individuals with disabilities, and some ideas that can help family members support the individual with special needs who is a part of their life.

Anti-Bullying Strategies and Supports for Educators:  Supporting Individuals with Special Needs

Did you know that 60% of students with disabilities report being bullied compared with 25% of students without disabilities? This is why we need to focus on how to help the students who are usually the most vulnerable in schools. This webcast shares information about bullying in general, how it applies to individuals with disabilities, and some ideas that can help school staff support the individual with special needs.

If you would like to learn more about anti-bullying webcasts, contact Simple Acts of Care and Kindness at 866-459-7225 or visit www.simpleacts.org for additional information.

Making Friends in a New School Age | Corona, CA

Going back to school can spark many emotions. Going back to school during a pandemic can make adjusting take some time. It’s tough having to deal with new schedules and ways of learning, even tougher to figure out how to make new friends. Here are some quick tips:

Smile. Smiles make you seem friendly and approachable. They make others feel special.

Make eye contact. When you look people in the eye, they feel like you’re interested in them and what they are saying. People like being respected.

Say hello. Greet classmates you haven’t talked to before – hello is the first step toward making a new friend.

Be involved. Extracurricular activities are opportunities to meet others who like the same things you do.

Ask for advice. If you’re having trouble making friends or keeping friends, turn to people you respect for helpful suggestions to solve your difficulties.

Be a good friend. Treat others the way you want them to treat you.

Trust is key. Keep your friends’ secrets and confidences, no matter how tempting telling others might be.

Be truthful. Lying might feel less scary, easier, or even better but more often than not, the truth eventually comes out and makes the situation much worse than if you initially told the truth.

Speak up. If you hear others talking negatively about a person or group, tell them you feel uncomfortable and stand up for the victim.

Apologize. If you hurt someone or mistakenly do something you shouldn’t have, a sincere “I’m sorry,” without excuses, is the first step to moving forward.

Relax. Nobody does friendship perfectly or knows exactly what to do when it comes to making and keeping friends. Take a deep breath and jump right in!

Back-to-School with Coronavirus | Corona, CA

Summer is officially coming to a close and it’s time to start preparing for a new school year. But what kind of school year are we preparing for? With this new way of getting an education, there are going to be lots of changes to look forward to. But it can be a scary time for our little students – with the new classes and schedules to get used to. Let’s help our tiny scholar’s off on the right foot with these back-to-school tips:

Meet the new teacher. If you are going to be exposed to in-house classes, there will be lots of changes to the typical classroom experience. Take advantage of any of your school’s open house or back-to-school night. Some teachers welcome phone calls or e-mails — take advantage of the opportunity. Open house is also a great way to get your child familiar with the new areas they will be using on a daily basis. Together you can meet their teacher, find their desk, or explore the playground.

Connect with friends. A familiar friend can make all the difference when heading back to school. If there’s a change for a socially distant play date, it could help ease fears about the changes.

Tool up. While keeping the class supply list in mind, allow for a couple of splurges like a cool notebook or a favorite-colored pen. These simple pleasures make going back to school a lot more fun.

Ease into the routine. We have been living inside for a long time now, schedule changes will take a minute to get used to. Balancing in-house and home school sessions will take some time.

If you would like to learn more about back-to-school, contact Simple Acts of Care and Kindness at 866-459-7225 or visit www.simpleacts.org for additional information.

When It’s Time for a Parent to Step in | Corona, CA

No one wants their child to be bullied. Unfortunately, we are in a world that is full of bullies. Until we come to a point where bullies no longer exist, we need to do our parts at home. To protect them from potential bullying, sit your child down and ensure them that they can come to you if they ever feel like they’re being bullied. In fact, while you’re at it, make sure they know it is never good to be a bully either. Not only can bullying make a child’s daily life very difficult, but it can also affect them down the road in life. If you find that your child is being bullied, there are a few things you as a parent can do about the situation:

Provide them with comfort and advice. Knowledge is power and this is no different. Provide your child with tips for avoiding such harassment. You, as a parent, should listen calmly and carefully if your child does approach you about being bullied, meaning you shouldn’t overreact. Take your child seriously and avoid laughing the situation off, or again, they may cut communication in the future. Your goal should be to show your child you care and understand the challenges of being bullied. Assure that you will stop the bully together as a team.

Contact your child’s school. If you find that your child is being bullied at school, contact the teacher and/or principal. Adult intervention is a necessary step in bringing the bullying to an end. Before you approach anyone, make sure that you know the bully’s name and the specific instances when the bullying occurred.

If you would like to learn more about bullying prevention, contact Simple Acts of Care and Kindness at 866-459-7225 or visit www.simpleacts.org for additional information.

Stop the Bullying Between Children | Corona, CA

We are in a very scary time and the last thing we want is to perpetuate violence or bullying. But how? When it comes to students, it is important for us, as adults, to intervene immediately. When you do nothing, you send the message that bullying is acceptable. If you ignore or minimize the problem, victims will not believe that adults understand or care, or that they can help. If you don’t intervene, children won’t either.

Intervene. Observing children’s actions, words, body language, and facial expressions will help you determine if bullying is occurring. Even if it’s not, aggressive behaviors need to be stopped.

Separate and diffuse. Stand between or near the victim and the bully, separating them if necessary, so as to stop the bullying behaviors. For young children, consider removing them from the situation to a “time-out” area or room.

Respond firmly but appropriately. Remain calm but stern. Convey the seriousness of the situation. Announce that the bullying must stop. Describe the behavior you observed and why it is unacceptable.

Get help if needed. If the bully is using physical force, or there is more than one bully, you may need to find another adult to help keep children safe and protect yourself.

Don’t impose immediate consequences. Allow yourself time to consider the incident and obtain any clarifying information – then decide the best course of action.

Don’t leave it to the children.  Bullying is different from an argument or conflict; it involves a power imbalance that requires adult intervention.

Give praise and show appreciation to helpful bystanders.  Children who try to help the victim or stop the bully are key to bullying prevention.

Stay put. Remain in the area until you are sure the behavior has stopped.

If you would like to learn more about bullying prevention, contact Simple Acts of Care and Kindness at 866-459-7225 or visit www.simpleacts.org for additional information.

When Bullying Affects Our Bodies | Corona, CA

During this stressful time in our lives, it is important for us to look after one another more than it ever has been before. Not only is there no school or activities available but staying inside all day can become an issue for families living in close quarters. Bickering and rough housing is bound to happen, but that is completely natural. What isn’t natural is bullying others online or otherwise. Not only is it mean, but it affects the bullied more than one may think. Not only does bullying have a huge emotional impact for those on the receiving end, but it can have a significant adverse effect on health, both in terms of current and future health.

Mentally. Anyone who has ever been bullied knows the stress that it can bring to your life. This anxiety also leads to insomnia and disturbed sleep, which not only impacts on how we perform, but how we feel. Your mood becomes depressed, including a loss of confidence and reduced self-esteem.

Physically. Feelings of fear increases its production of stress hormones such as cortisol and adrenaline, which trigger a number of changes within the body. General muscle pain and headaches is commonly experienced by those who are bullied. Abdominal pain, nausea and altered bowel habits are also commonly reported by people who have experienced bullying, as some bullied will have radical weight changes. Studies also show that when stressful situations are more prevalent, colds, flu, sore throats and chest infections are more likely to occur, as our white blood cells are not adequately prepared to fight the bacteria and viruses that cause these before they take hold.

If you would like to learn more about the affects of bullying, contact Simple Acts of Care and Kindness at 866-459-7225 or visit www.simpleacts.org for additional information.