Teaching our kids to be kind tends to begin by example. When you are kind to those around you, or your child is exposed to kindness, that is how they begin to understand what it is. They can see, hear, and often feel the energy kind words and actions emit, and ideally, begin to repeat those actions with their friends. Verbally communicating that your child should be kind, is much different than their experience of, and practice with it. Here are four ways you can encourage kindness in kids.
Continue readingFive Tips For Making Friends in the New School Year | Corona, CA
Moving to a new place, entering a new school, or returning to school with a different mindset than you had from the year before can mean you’re in a position to make new friends. This can be an exciting prospect, or intimidating task depending on your desire and aptitude for it. Here are a fe things to keep in mind when trying to make new friends this school year.
Continue readingHow To Intervene When Bullying Happens | Corona, CA
Bullying happens. It’s a sad fact that in our lifetimes are likely to either be bullied, be a bully, or be in proximity to a situation in which bullying occurs. Here is what you can do if you are ever in proximity to a bullying situation.
Continue readingThe Difference Between Harassment and Bullying | Corona, CA
The difference between bullying and harassment is a thin line. They both revolve around power dynamics, control, harmful actions, and the perceived ability of the target to stop their experience. Yet, the things that differentiate bullying from harassment stem from the notion that the target its part of a “protected class” designation. Here are some things to be aware of when you consider whether what your child is experiencing is bullying or harassment.
Continue readingBullying Prevention Begins With Developing High Self-Esteem | Corona, CA
Building up your child’s self-esteem is paramount to bullying prevention. When we help our children recognize and feel proud of, their accomplishments, we help teach them their worth. Over time, we can help him or her recognize how their strengths contribute to those around them, teaching them in turn how to repay that support to their peers. When a child is so busy focusing on their skills and cultivating new ones, they don’t have time to be a bully to others- they are busy improving themselves! Here are some easy ways to begin building your child’s self-esteem:
Continue readingWe All Need Good Friends To Lean On | Corona, CA
What makes someone a good friend? When do we cross our own boundaries to help those around us? How do we effectively balance our needs with our desire to help someone we care about? These are difficult questions to answer for ourselves and in regard to the people in our lives. When considering these questions with a child in the context of their own lives, its important to retain the notion that their ability to comprehend complex situations is limited. To keep things simple while introducing the foundation of what it means to be a good friend, here are some simple things you can share:
Continue readingYour Child Can Help Prevent Bullying, Here’s How | Corona, CA
Believe it or not, you can teach your child how to be an effective and empathetic support to their peers experiencing bullying. Here are five ways you can foster the notion within your child that he or she can be a champion for change and help prevent bullying.
- Communication starts in the home. Bullying can be a difficult topic to bring up with your child, but if you establish a foundation of trust with your child, they will be more likely to share their positive and negative experiences at school. When you make them feel safe and heard, they may begin to make their peers feel that way in kind.
2. Being a safe bystander. When children witness bullying, it can affect them too, even if they don’t directly engage in the situation. Help your child understand how he or she can help their classmate by offering to listen to their feelings or tell a teacher what’s going on, without getting directly involved.
3. Respond intentionally to conversations around bullying. When your child brings bullying to your attention, you can help them learn how they should respond, by being intentional with your response. Listen to him or her, ask questions that illicit a thoughtful response, and try to share how you feel he or she can act the next time they experience something similar.
4. Raise awareness. If your child is consistently sharing instances of bullying, share with him or her the ways they can safely take action, and reach out to adults closer to the situation to inform them of what you are being told. Raising awareness in your child about how to react, and within your community about the issue, is more likely to solve problems that prevent future bullying.
Visit StopBullying.gov for more helpful tips on how to prevent bullying, and have a great school year!
If you would like to learn more about bullying, contact Simple Acts of Care and Kindness at 866-459-7225 or visit www.simpleacts.org for additional information.
Helping Kids Understand Compassion | Corona, CA
As school terms come to a close and summer begins to set in, we feel it is important to share some ways you can help your kids better understand what it means to be compassionate.
Children watch and learn many things both consciously and unconsciously. They observe our behavior, that of their teachers, their fellow classmates, and people they admire. If you are a parent helping a friend through a difficult time, invite your child to sit with you as you prepare a gift basket, or ask their opinion on what to write in a get-well card. Including your child in these scenarios will allow them to ask questions and feel like they are contributing. It will also tonight curiosity and allow opportunities for you to share your values, or otherwise teach them compassionate behaviors.
Another thing we can do is when they arrive home from school, ask questions beyond “What did you learn today”, by asking questions that make them consider their friend’s experiences. Instead of “Did you perform well” you could ask “How did that lesson make you feel” or “How did your friend feel when you said or did that today”. This invites them to consider their own feelings and the feelings they witnessed their friend experience. If their reactions to similar circumstances differ when they pertain to themselves versus their peers, see it as an opportunity to teach them that all people are equal, and their feelings should be just as valid as their own.
These are two ways we can begin to incorporate higher-level thinking into our children’s consideration of their daily lives. They won’t necessarily pick up on it on their own; it’s likely they are at an age where their own human experience is the only one they consider, so invite them to consider others whenever possible to help them understand compassion, and pass it along.
If you would like to learn more about bullying, contact Simple Acts of Care and Kindness at 866-459-7225 or visit www.simpleacts.org for additional information.
Who Is at Increased Risk for Bullying? | Corona, CA
Bullying happens, and any child can be bullied for several reasons. Unfortunately, however, some individuals become a target of bullying more than others. Whether children are spreading hate online or in person, the consequences can be damaging for the recipient. Whether your child is the direct recipient or an indirect observer, bullying is so common, it’s likely every child will have some relationship with bullying.
Students seen as being ‘different’ or ‘non-conforming’ to their peers are at an increased risk of being the recipient of bullying. Children with disabilities, members of the LGBTQ community, those who are overweight, those perceived as insecure, and the quiet ones are all potential targets of being ‘othered’ and bullied because of it. Instead of being accepted for who they are, these students are made to feel poorly about the ways they were born, and how they move through the world.
What’s worse, is that many targets of bullying aren’t speaking to their families or teachers about their experience. Many times, they feel hopeless, that they won’t be believed, or that if they were to share, an adult will take actions that result in retaliation against them once out of the adult’s sight. As an adult, it’s important to make your child or student feel heard, safe, and take actionable steps that work to mitigate the chances of retaliation.
If you would like to learn more about bullying, contact Simple Acts of Care and Kindness at 866-459-7225 or visit www.simpleacts.org for additional information.
Bullying Can Feel Like a Taboo Topic for Kids | Corona, CA
On average, 160,000 students around the nation stay home daily because they fear being bullied at school. What’s more, it’s likely parents are unaware their child is being bullied. Unfortunately, kids can feel shame and social pressure to keep this information to themselves. Some may even feel that if they did share their experience, it would either fail to help the situation or make things worse. It’s important to understand that bullying happens, that it could be happening to your child and the reasons why he or she might not bring this to your attention. Here are a few things that may be happening in the background of your child’s experience that may keep them from sharing.
Labeling. Children do not possess the understanding that what they do and say to one another matters, and carries real-world implications. On the playground, a child’s reputation can be created in an instant and stay with them throughout their elementary school experience. This label can be anything from “timid” to “tattle tale”. It’s important to differentiate for a child what is important to share with an adult, and what is playground banter.
Retaliation. Adults can only do so much when it comes to bullying intervention. Adults can certainly converse with the bully to understand what is going on and address the concerns of the bullied child. Yet, they can’t always be around to monitor the behavior or intervene when things escalate. When a bully gets confronted about his or her actions, it tells them someone (likely the child being bullied) told on them. In the moments when no one is looking are when acts of retaliation can occur.
Being believed. Sadly, many children don’t think their parents will believe they are being bullied, or be victim blamed. Children may also take responsibility for the bully’s actions because they believe themselves unworthy of being treated kindly, or the cause of the bully’s behavior. It’s important to listen to your child and allow their feelings to be validated before taking action such as speaking with their teacher or the bully’s parents.
It’s useless. Research tends to support the notion that telling a parent is unlikely to stop bullying. All too often, when a child shares their situation with an adult, it is met with “toughen up”, “it’s a part of life”, or “he’s only doing it because he likes you and doesn’t know how else to express his feelings”. These are dangerous lessons to teach children about how to deal with these situations. It dismisses them, their feelings, and the actions of the bully, and teaches them that they should accept the way others treat them, rather than how to appropriately deal with the situation.
Shame. Shame and embarrassment are real feelings children carry around their bullying experience. When a child feels ashamed for any reason or embarrassed by the actions and reactions of their peers, it’s less likely they will speak up. They have to live with these feelings at school around their peers and might fear their parents will make them feel this way at home.
Bullying is never okay, and the victim’s feelings are always valid. Your child may not bring their experience to your attention, so it’s important to listen and encourage them to share their feelings. If they say things that may hint to instances of being bullied, but won’t tell you outright, it may be a good idea to speak with their teacher to learn more. That may allow you an avenue to begin asking the right questions at home and get to the bottom of why they may be acting strangely or quietly at home.
If you would like to learn more about simple acts of kindness, contact Simple Acts of Care and Kindness at 866-459-7225 or visit www.simpleacts.org for additional information.