Helping Kids Understand Compassion | Corona, CA

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As school terms come to a close and summer begins to set in, we feel it is important to share some ways you can help your kids better understand what it means to be compassionate.

Children watch and learn many things both consciously and unconsciously. They observe our behavior, that of their teachers, their fellow classmates, and people they admire. If you are a parent helping a friend through a difficult time, invite your child to sit with you as you prepare a gift basket, or ask their opinion on what to write in a get-well card. Including your child in these scenarios will allow them to ask questions and feel like they are contributing. It will also tonight curiosity and allow opportunities for you to share your values, or otherwise teach them compassionate behaviors.

Another thing we can do is when they arrive home from school, ask questions beyond “What did you learn today”, by asking questions that make them consider their friend’s experiences. Instead of “Did you perform well” you could ask “How did that lesson make you feel” or “How did your friend feel when you said or did that today”. This invites them to consider their own feelings and the feelings they witnessed their friend experience. If their reactions to similar circumstances differ when they pertain to themselves versus their peers, see it as an opportunity to teach them that all people are equal, and their feelings should be just as valid as their own.

These are two ways we can begin to incorporate higher-level thinking into our children’s consideration of their daily lives. They won’t necessarily pick up on it on their own; it’s likely they are at an age where their own human experience is the only one they consider, so invite them to consider others whenever possible to help them understand compassion, and pass it along.

If you would like to learn more about bullying, contact Simple Acts of Care and Kindness at 866-459-7225 or visit www.simpleacts.org for additional information.

Who Is at Increased Risk for Bullying? | Corona, CA

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Bullying happens, and any child can be bullied for several reasons. Unfortunately, however, some individuals become a target of bullying more than others. Whether children are spreading hate online or in person, the consequences can be damaging for the recipient. Whether your child is the direct recipient or an indirect observer, bullying is so common, it’s likely every child will have some relationship with bullying.

Students seen as being ‘different’ or ‘non-conforming’ to their peers are at an increased risk of being the recipient of bullying. Children with disabilities, members of the LGBTQ community, those who are overweight, those perceived as insecure, and the quiet ones are all potential targets of being ‘othered’ and bullied because of it. Instead of being accepted for who they are, these students are made to feel poorly about the ways they were born, and how they move through the world.

What’s worse, is that many targets of bullying aren’t speaking to their families or teachers about their experience. Many times, they feel hopeless, that they won’t be believed, or that if they were to share, an adult will take actions that result in retaliation against them once out of the adult’s sight. As an adult, it’s important to make your child or student feel heard, safe, and take actionable steps that work to mitigate the chances of retaliation.

If you would like to learn more about bullying, contact Simple Acts of Care and Kindness at 866-459-7225 or visit www.simpleacts.org for additional information.

Bullying Can Feel Like a Taboo Topic for Kids | Corona, CA

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On average, 160,000 students around the nation stay home daily because they fear being bullied at school. What’s more, it’s likely parents are unaware their child is being bullied. Unfortunately, kids can feel shame and social pressure to keep this information to themselves. Some may even feel that if they did share their experience, it would either fail to help the situation or make things worse. It’s important to understand that bullying happens, that it could be happening to your child and the reasons why he or she might not bring this to your attention. Here are a few things that may be happening in the background of your child’s experience that may keep them from sharing.

Labeling. Children do not possess the understanding that what they do and say to one another matters, and carries real-world implications. On the playground, a child’s reputation can be created in an instant and stay with them throughout their elementary school experience. This label can be anything from “timid” to “tattle tale”. It’s important to differentiate for a child what is important to share with an adult, and what is playground banter.

Retaliation. Adults can only do so much when it comes to bullying intervention. Adults can certainly converse with the bully to understand what is going on and address the concerns of the bullied child. Yet, they can’t always be around to monitor the behavior or intervene when things escalate. When a bully gets confronted about his or her actions, it tells them someone (likely the child being bullied) told on them. In the moments when no one is looking are when acts of retaliation can occur.

Being believed. Sadly, many children don’t think their parents will believe they are being bullied, or be victim blamed. Children may also take responsibility for the bully’s actions because they believe themselves unworthy of being treated kindly, or the cause of the bully’s behavior. It’s important to listen to your child and allow their feelings to be validated before taking action such as speaking with their teacher or the bully’s parents.

It’s useless. Research tends to support the notion that telling a parent is unlikely to stop bullying. All too often, when a child shares their situation with an adult, it is met with “toughen up”, “it’s a part of life”, or “he’s only doing it because he likes you and doesn’t know how else to express his feelings”. These are dangerous lessons to teach children about how to deal with these situations. It dismisses them, their feelings, and the actions of the bully, and teaches them that they should accept the way others treat them, rather than how to appropriately deal with the situation.

Shame. Shame and embarrassment are real feelings children carry around their bullying experience. When a child feels ashamed for any reason or embarrassed by the actions and reactions of their peers, it’s less likely they will speak up. They have to live with these feelings at school around their peers and might fear their parents will make them feel this way at home.

Bullying is never okay, and the victim’s feelings are always valid. Your child may not bring their experience to your attention, so it’s important to listen and encourage them to share their feelings. If they say things that may hint to instances of being bullied, but won’t tell you outright, it may be a good idea to speak with their teacher to learn more. That may allow you an avenue to begin asking the right questions at home and get to the bottom of why they may be acting strangely or quietly at home.

If you would like to learn more about simple acts of kindness, contact Simple Acts of Care and Kindness at 866-459-7225 or visit www.simpleacts.org for additional information.

Cyber Bullying: What to Look for and How to Stop It | Corona, CA

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March 23, 2022 | Beau Yarbrough, Los Angeles Daily News

Most students report having been cyber bullied, but some schools have been able to reduce incidents by hiring additional counselors and creating online portals to report bullying and putting links to them everywhere.

(TNS) — Today’s kids face bullying and other dangers in two worlds, one online and the other offline.

“Parenting is parenting and digital spaces are just another place that kids hang out,” said Stephanie M. Reich, professor of education at UC Irvine.

A new Southern California News Group analysis shows that 33.5 percent of California secondary students reported being bullied or harassed in the past 12 months in an anonymous survey distributed in three-quarters of California school districts.

But the same kind of practical advice parents give their children before heading to school or a friend’s house can also protect them from cyber bullying online.

“When your kid is little and they want to go to the park, you don’t just open the door and say ‘There you go,’” Reich said.

According to a survey conducted between May and June 2021 by the Cyberbullying Research Center, 23.2 percent of children in America had been cyber bullied, with the highest numbers experienced by 15 year olds, 27.7 percent of whom had said they’d been bullied.

Cyber bullying can take many forms, from messages or social media posts intended to upset the target, online gossip, recording and posting offline bullying online, or impersonating bullying victims or creating doctored images to defame them.

In a 2018 Pew Research Center survey, 59 percent of teens surveyed said they’d experienced cyber bullying at some point.

“People always think about it as this dark shadowy thing that nobody is aware of that’s somehow different than what bullying is like,” Reich said. “But cyber bullying is a lot like in-person bullying.”

The consequences of cyber bullying, however, can be more severe than offline bullying, according to the National Institutes of Health. Cyber bullying victims are more likely to suffer from depression than those who are bullied in other ways, for example.

There are school districts in California that have much lower reported rates of bullying — some as low as one-third the statewide average. The rates are typically a result of improving school mental health climates, hiring additional counselors and implementing more robust anti-bullying policies and procedures.

More and more, school districts are taking what happens online as seriously as what happens on campus, according to Loretta Whitson, executive director of California Association of School Counselors.

“I can tell you that, many times, kids were pretty upset about being suspended when they (bullied) online, when they were at home,” she said. “But it disrupted education, and that was the rule.”

Districts with low rates of reported bullying often create online portals to report bullying and put links to them everywhere, including on students’ Chromebooks or other district-issued devices, by posting QR codes around campus and placing links on district and school websites. They also sometimes monitor how students use district devices and Internet use, flagging signs of bullying.

Jurupa Unified in Riverside County has both widespread links to the district’s bullying reporting line and uses software to flag when students visit inappropriate websites, including those dealing with drug use or self-harm.

The reporting tools have been getting a workout in the past two years.

“Since the pandemic, even during the virtual year, the actionable reports that have been put in have greatly increased,” said Monty Owens, the district’s director of educational equity.

The biggest way the districts combat cyber bullying, though, is the same way they combat it offline: By changing the school and district culture.

“One of the key characteristics of schoolyard bullying is that there’s a bunch of bystanders standing by, watching, not doing anything,” Reich said. “It’s the same in digital spaces. We want to train kids to intervene.”

That training is taking place in school districts with lower bullying rates. But Reich says there’s more work to do off school grounds to combat bullying.

“It’s really about a community that doesn’t tolerate it on the playground and they don’t tolerate it in digital spaces,” she said.

To get ahead of the issue, Reich said children should learn empathy to help prevent cyber bullying.

“If you’re empathetic, you’re not going to hurt others online and you’re less likely to tolerate it happening to other people online,” she said.

And that includes empathy for the bullies, too.

“Cyber bullies are often cyber-victims themselves,” she said.

Plus, she said, “they often have households that are not great. They have very neglectful parents or very laissez faire ones. They’re usually bullies because they’re trying to assert control.”

Reich believes parents should teach their children to be aware of the possible dangers online and how to avoid them, as well as develop trust with children so they are willing to share about things that concern or upset them.

“If you cultivate a high quality relationship with your child, you can have those conversations with them, whether it’s about digital spaces or offline,” Reich said.

With her own children, she gave her kids access to digital devices and the Internet gradually, based on their developmental stage. And just like talking about the hazards one could encounter on the way to the park, she spoke to her children about how algorithms for various social platforms shove engaging content at users without any concern about whether it’s healthy or accurate.

“We’re just trying to cultivate our kids being conscious and aware when they’re using devices,” she said.

And for parents looking for specific practical advice, the Boy Scouts — who have an online safety training course for scouts as young as first grade — have some tips:

Common types of cyber bullying

  • Flaming, trolling or trash talking by sending or posting hostile messages intended to upset others
  • Recording someone being harassed or bullied, then posting the video online for public viewing
  • Identify theft or impersonation
  • Doctored images
  • Physical threats
  • Spreading rumors or public shaming

Signs a child may be a victim of cyber bullying

  • Avoids computer, cell phone and other devices
  • Appears stressed when receiving an email, instant message or text message
  • Withdraws from family and friends
  • Reluctant to attend school or social events
  • Avoids conversations about their computer use
  • Exhibits signs of low self-esteem, including depression or fear
  • Has declining grades
  • Has poor eating or sleeping habits
  • Acts secretive when online

What to do if your child is being cyber bullied

  • Encourage your child not to respond to the bully
  • Do not erase the messages or pictures, and take screenshots and save them as evidence
  • Try to identify the individual doing the cyber bullying, even if the cyber bully is anonymous
  • If the cyber/gaming bullying is criminal — such as threats of violence, extortion, obscene or harassing phone calls or text messages, stalking, hate crimes or child pornography — contact the police

This story is part of a 2021 Data Fellowship with the USC Annenberg Center for Health Journalism.

If you would like to learn more about random acts of kindness, contact Simple Acts of Care and Kindness at 866-459-7225 or visit www.simpleacts.org for additional information.

It’s Time the World Stands Up to Bullying | Corona, CA

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When it comes to bullying, there isn’t just the bullied that is affected. Of course, the victim hurt on many different levels. But the bully is also affected – after all, hurt people hurt people. Even those that are a witness to said bullying are affected. No one likes to see someone hurting. Therefore, it is so important that we combat bullying any way we can.

In the United States alone, 20 percent of children between the ages of 12 and 18 say they have experienced some type of bullying. That is a heartbreaking statistic. But if you think of it on a global scale, one-third of the world’s youth are bullied. Those who did the bullying had more social influence, more money, or were physically stronger than the person they bullied. You see, they have this idea that they’re “better” than you. And unfortunately, it can happen at any point in time. The bullying will take place in a school cafeteria, hallway, classroom, school grounds, or bathroom. Some bullies also use texting and online platforms to target their victims.

But there is hope… In 2008, Canada celebrated the first International Stand Up to Bullying Day. It started in February, but it is celebrated twice a year. And today is that day. Schools around the world are celebrating this anti-bullying tour de force by wearing a pink shirt to spread awareness of this very important cause. Because this can’t be done by one student alone – we all need to stand up to bullying if it’s ever going to stop.

So, wear that pink shirt with pride and put your foot down against bullying.

If you would like to learn more about random acts of kindness, contact Simple Acts of Care and Kindness at 866-459-7225 or visit www.simpleacts.org for additional information.

My Big Idea: Anti-Bullying Software for the Classroom | Corona, CA

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OCTOBER 12, 2022 | by ALENE BOURANOVA

It’s no secret that bullying is still prevalent in classrooms. In fact, one in five children report being bullied during their school years.

It’s also not a secret that thanks to staff shortages and budget cuts, teachers and counselors are increasingly being asked to cover more and more students, making it easier for instances of bullying to slip through the cracks.

That’s where Brave Up comes in.

The software, which Juan Ramirez (Questrom’21) and Enrique De Lima (CAS’21) helped bring to market, is aimed at students and counselors to help predict, detect, and prevent bullying and cyberbullying inside K–12 classrooms. Brave Up launched in early 2022 and is in use in 150-plus schools across both the United States and Latin America, where much of the leadership team is from.

Comprehensive anti-bullying software has been a long time coming in the education technology space, says Ramirez, Brave Up’s head of revenue and strategy. And particularly now, with students back in classrooms after COVID lockdowns and struggling to adjust to a changed social landscape.

To continue reading this article, click here.

If you would like to learn more about random acts of kindness, contact Simple Acts of Care and Kindness at 866-459-7225 or visit www.simpleacts.org for additional information.

Going Back to School and Making Friends | Corona, CA

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Welcome to another school year! For some, it is returning to the same school with the same friends. For others, this may be a very scary time as they are starting in a new place without anyone familiar. Here are some helpful tips to think about when it comes to making friends and having a great school year:

Smile. Smiles make you seem friendly and make others feel special.

Make eye contact. When you look people in the eye, they feel like you’re interested in them and what they are saying.

Say hello. Greet classmates you haven’t talked to before – hello is the first step toward making a new friend. Make a goal to talk to one new person a week.

Forget stereotypes. Don’t stereotype schoolmates by the groups they belong to and don’t limit yourself to your current group.

Be involved. Extracurricular activities are opportunities to meet others who like the same things you do.

Be better. You don’t have to be the same as you were last year. The older you become, the more life experience you have, the better your social skills become.

Ask for advice. If you’re having trouble making friends or keeping friends, turn to people you respect to talk about your difficulties.

Be a good friend. Treat others the way you want them to treat you.

Be trustworthy. Keep your friends’ secrets and confidences, no matter how tempting telling others might be.

Be truthful. Lying might feel easier, but the truth eventually comes out and makes the situation much worse.

Speak up. If you see someone bring bullied or called names, stand up for the victim.

Apologize. If you hurt someone or mistakenly do something you shouldn’t have, say you’re sorry.

If you would like to learn more about random acts of kindness, contact Simple Acts of Care and Kindness at 866-459-7225 or visit www.simpleacts.org for additional information.

Mississippi 10-Year-Old Writes Anti-Bullying Book | Corona, CA

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By Associated Press | Aug. 27, 2022, at 1:01 a.m. By BLAKE ALSUP, Northeast Mississippi Daily Journal TUPELO, Miss. (AP) —

William Faulkner was 29 years old.

Richard Wright was 30.

John Grisham, Eudora Welty and Greg Iles were all around age 33.

But Atiya Henley was just 10 years old when she published her first book.

Atiya will enter the fifth grade at West Clay Elementary this school year, but unlike most — if not all — of her classmates, she’s already a published author.

Published in February, Atiya’s short book, “The Mean Girls: A Bunch of Bullies,” carries an anti-bullying message.

Atiya’s mother, Amy Deanes, founded West Point-based Superior Publishing in 2020. The small publishing house currently distributes the work of 13 authors; among them, Atiya’s book has been the publisher’s best seller.

According to Deanes, her daughter has always been interested in writing stories. In fact, she wrote a book titled “Black Joe” before writing “The Mean Girls.”

The idea to write this specific book came about during a conversation with her mom. Atiya was playing a game, and Deanes suggested that she create her own game or write a book that other people can experience.

Although the book isn’t based on a situation she’s personally experienced or witnessed at school, she’s seen news reports on the effects of bullying. Atiya said she wanted to do something to help make people aware of bullying in an effort to help stop it.

“I’m very passionate of others’ feelings, and I don’t like when someone gets mistreated or left out,” Atiya said.

The 34-page book took her about a month to write. Her mother both edited and illustrated it.

Atiya and her eight classmates made up the entire fourth grade class at West Clay Elementary during the 2021-22 school year. Her whole class was involved in making the book, posing as characters in photo illustrations.

“We have a very small class, so basically all of them are best friends,” Atiya said.

The school’s principal, teachers and students were overjoyed to have an active part in the book’s creation and have supported it after release as Atiya has traveled to other schools and churches promoting it.

With a head start on what could be a productive career, Atiya is already planning future publications. She plans to publish the first book she penned, “Black Joe,” in the near future, and is currently working on a sequel to “The Mean Girls” subtitled “The Silent Bullies.”

The fifth grader has no intentions of putting down her proverbial pen. As an adult, she hopes to be an author and a real estate agent.

At just 10 years old, she’s already halfway there.

If you would like to learn more about random acts of kindness, contact Simple Acts of Care and Kindness at 866-459-7225 or visit www.simpleacts.org for additional information.

A Catchy Tune with an Anti-Bullying Message | Corona, CA

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An anti-bullying song is one of the tracks on the new album “Hazel Eyes” by local Hawaiian band Kolohe Kai. The song was used as part of the Hawaiʻi Department of Health’s Children’s Mental Health Acceptance Week campaign earlier this year.

Lead singer Roman De Peralta wrote the track “I Think You’re Beautiful,” and describes it as an uplifting song with an empowering message. The Conversation sat down with De Peralta to discuss the inspiration behind the music.

If you would like to learn more about random acts of kindness, contact Simple Acts of Care and Kindness at 866-459-7225 or visit www.simpleacts.org for additional information.

Is It Sibling Rivalry or Bullying? | Corona, CA

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When we welcome another child into the family, we expect that there will be a bit of jealousy and trying to become the favorite is going to be the goal to achieve. For most families, it turns into what we know as sibling rivalry; for others, it can take a different turn.

New research suggests that even when there are no physical scars, aggression between siblings can cause psychological wounds as damaging as the suffering caused by bullies at school or on the playground. The findings offer an unusual look at an area of family life that has rarely been studied, in part because fighting among brothers and sisters is widely considered a harmless rite of passage.

But ordinary skirmishes over the remote or joystick are one thing. But constant physical and verbal abuse is another. Normal rivalries with siblings can encourage healthy competition but when the line between healthy relations and abuse is crossed it is cause for alarm. When one child is consistently the victim of another and the aggression is intended to cause harm and humiliation, it is then to be considered a serious situation.

Nationwide, sibling violence is the most common form of family violence. It occurs four to five times as often as spousal or parental child abuse. According to some studies, nearly half of all children have been punched, kicked or bitten by a sibling, and roughly 15 percent have been repeatedly attacked. But even the most severe incidents are underreported because families are reluctant to acknowledge them, dismissing slaps and punches as horseplay and bullying as kids just being kids.

It can erode a child’s sense of identity and lower their self-esteem, which can inevitably lead to anxiety, depression and anger.

If you would like to learn more about random acts of kindness, contact Simple Acts of Care and Kindness at 866-459-7225 or visit www.simpleacts.org for additional information.