Understanding & Overcoming Bullying | SACK of Corona, Ca

Posted on December 29, 2015 by admin

Individuals bully for a number of reasons, understanding why they bully can help you overcome bullying or help others who may be being bullied move past it as well. The truth is bullies are basically lashing out as a form of concealing their own troubles or shortcomings.

Reasons why a bully is bullying:

-To look or appear powerful

-Because they themselves are being bullied

-To make themselves popular

-They are jealous of you

-To escape their own problems

Tip #1: Understand the truth about bullying

Walk away from the bully. Bullies want to know they have control over your emotions so don’t react with anger or retaliate with physical force. If you walk away, ignore them, or calmly and assertively tell them you’re not interested in what they have to say, you’re demonstrating that they don’t have control over you.
Protect yourself. If you can’t walk away and are being physically hurt, protect yourself so you can get away. Your safety is the first priority.
Report the bullying to a trusted adult. If you don’t report threats and assaults, a bully will often become more and more aggressive. In many cases adults can find ways to help with the problem without letting the bully know it was you who reported them.
Repeat as necessary. Like the bully, you may have to be relentless. Report each and every bullying incident until it stops. There is no reason for you to ever put up with bullying.

Tip #2: Reframe the problem of bullying

By changing your attitude towards bullying you can help regain a sense of control.

Try to view bullying from a different perspective. The bully is an unhappy, frustrated person who wants to have control over your feelings so that you feel as badly as they do. Don’t give them the satisfaction.
Look at the big picture. Bullying can be extremely painful, but try asking yourself how important it will seem to you in the long run. Will it matter in a year? Is it worth getting so upset over? If the answer is no, focus your time and energy elsewhere.
Focus on the positive. Reflect on all the things you appreciate in your life, including your own positive qualities and gifts. Make a list and refer to it whenever you feel down.
Find the humor. If you’re relaxed enough to recognize the absurdity of a bullying situation, and to comment on it with humor, you’ll likely no longer be an interesting target for a bully.
Don’t try to control the uncontrollable. Many things in life are beyond our control—including the behavior of other people. Rather than stressing, focus on the things you can control such as the way you choose to react to bullies.

Tip #3: Find support from those who don’t bully

Having trusted people you can turn to for encouragement and support will boost your resilience when being bullied. Reach out to connect with family and real friends (those who don’t participate in bullying) or explore ways of making new friends. There are plenty of people who will love and appreciate you for who you are.

Find others who share your same values and interests. You may be able to make friends at a youth group, book club, or religious organization. Learn a new sport, join a team, or take up a new hobby such as chess, art, or music.
Share your feelings. Talk to a parent, counselor, coach, religious leader, or trusted friend. Expressing what you’re going through can make a huge difference to the way you feel, even if it doesn’t change the situation.
Boost your confidence. Exercise is a great way to help you feel good about yourself, as well as reduce stress. Punch a mattress or take a kick boxing class to work off your anger.
Don’t beat yourself up. Don’t make a bullying incident worse by dwelling on it or replaying it over and over in your head. Instead, focus on positive experiences you’ve had(Source: help guide.org).

It’s important to keep in mind that it’s probably the bully thats actually suffering and not to dwell on it or think you’re less than. Recovering from bullying can take time, and everyone heals at his or her own pace. However, if you do find yourself dwelling on the incident(s), it’s important for you to seek help from a parent, school counselors, a teacher or a professional therapist.

What Can You Do If You See Someone Being Bullied? | SACK of Corona, Ca

Posted on November 14, 2015 by admin

When you help someone who’s being bullied, you may also help yourself. It can feel great to support someone in need and to stand up for what you believe! Many of us see someone being bullied at some point. It may be easier to just stand by, or even to laugh. But if you are brave and kind, you can be a real hero. Remember, the person being bullied may feel awful and all alone.

Bullying usually involves one or more people teasing, being violent towards, or harassing somebody on an ongoing basis. Bullying can happen in person and online and through cell phones.

What can you do if you see or know someone being bullied?

Stand up for the person. If it feels safe, defend the person being bullied. Bullies often care a lot about being popular and powerful. If you make the bullying seem uncool, the bully may stop.
Tell an adult. If you feel uncomfortable telling an adult, ask the adult to keep your comments private.
Encourage the bullied person to talk to an adult. Offer to go with them.
Offer support. Ask if the person is okay. Be friendly the next day. You can make a big difference just by showing you care.
Don’t join in or watch bullying. Bullies love an audience. Walk away, and see if you can get others to leave, too. Of course, don’t just abandon someone who is in real danger. Go get help.
Stop any rumors. If someone tells you gossip, don’t pass it on to others. You wouldn’t want someone spreading rumors about you(Source: girlshealth.gov).

If you see someone being bullied and you don’t do anything to help them then it will just continue and may get worse. People who are being bullied can feel really distressed and it can have a serious impact on their life and health. In very serious cases bullying could lead to self harming, or even suicidal thoughts. Often other people at school don’t realize the effect that bullying has when it goes on day in day out. If the bullying involves violence or threats, or if you think your classmate is in danger of getting hurt or harming herself, talk to an adult about it right away.

For more information call us at 866-459-7225 or visit our website at http://simpleacts.org

What can be done to help someone who is being bullied? | Norco, CA

Posted on April 3, 2013 by admin

Support a child who is being bullied:

You can listen to the child and let him or her know you are available to talk or even help. A child who is being bullied may struggle talking about it. Consider letting the child know there are other people who can talk with him or her about bullying.
Give the child advice about what he or she can do. You might want to include role-playing and acting out a bullying incident as you guide the child so that the child knows what to do in a real situation.
Follow up with the child to show that you are committed to helping put a stop to the bullying.

Address the bullying behavior:

Make sure a child whom you suspect or know is bullying knows what the problem behavior is and why it is not acceptable.
Show kids that bullying is taken seriously. If you know someone is being a bully to someone else, tell the bully that bullying will not be tolerated! It is important, however, to demonstrate good behavior when speaking with a bully so that you serve as a role model of good interpersonal behavior.

If you feel that you have taken all possible steps to prevent bullying and nothing has worked, or someone is in immediate danger, there are other ways for you to help.

The problem	What you can do
A crime has occurred or someone is at immediate risk of harm.	Call 911.
Someone is feeling hopeless, helpless, or thinking of suicide.	Contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline online or at 1-800-273-TALK (8255). This toll-free call goes to the nearest crisis center in a national network. These centers provide crisis counseling and mental health referrals.
Someone is acting differently, such as sad or anxious, having trouble completing tasks, or not taking care of themselves.	Find a local counselor or other mental health services.
A child is being bullied in school.	Contact the: Teacher School counselor School coach School principal School superintendent Board of Education
Child is being bullied after school on the playground or in the neighborhood	Neighborhood watch Playground security Team coach Local precinct/community police
The child’s school is not addressing the bullying	Contact the: School superintendent Local Board of Education State Department of Education

“One’s dignity may be assaulted, vandalized and cruelly mocked, but it can never be taken away unless it is surrendered.”
― Michael J. Fox, Actor

For more information about how you can help call us at 866-459-7225 or visit our website at http://simpleacts.org

S.A.C.K. also proudly serves Corona, Riverside, Norco, San Bernardino, and surrounding areas.

Bullying Facts and Solutions | Riverside, CA

Posted on February 11, 2013 by admin

With as much media attention as has been given to the sometimes tragic consequences of bullying, one only has to read the comments section of online articles about bullying to really see that many adults still don’t fully comprehend the negative impact that bullying has on so many children every day.

Below you will find some facts and statistics to help adults and parents come to realize bullying is a big problem for not only their community but, likewise, across the entire country.

Bullying Facts and Statistics

Because of bullying, 160,000 kids in the US stay home from school every day.
83% of bullying incidents receive no intervention and continue to happen.
Bullies are four times more likely to engage in criminal behavior as an adult and often develop suicidal thoughts.
Male bullying more often consists of verbal and physical abuse, whereas female bullyies more commonly use more verbal abuse and social bullying by spreading of rumors.
Only half of educators have received training on how to handle bullying situations. That is like going to a dentist to get treated for the flu!
In a 2007 report it showed that nearly 80% of students who experienced bullying stated that it occurred inside the school grounds.
Verbal assaults amongst children more often target appearances and behaviors rather than race or religious affiliations. Often in those instances, the bullies felt that the victim was at fault for these behaviors or appearances.
33.1% of middle and high school students surveyed agree or strongly agrees that teachers can stop bullying. And 2/3 of these students are not confident that they can get help from their teachers.
A study conducted in 2005 showed that approximately one out of ten Internet users aged 10-17 had been the victim of cyber bullying and “on-line harassment”. Half of victims who were bullied off-line and on-line by the same people reported being very distressed by the incidents.

“If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor. If an elephant has its foot on the tail of a mouse, and you say that you are neutral, the mouse will not appreciate your neutrality.”
― Desmond Tutu

For more information about how you can help call us at 866-459-7225 or visit our website at http://simpleacts.org

The Evolution of a Bully | Corona, CA

Posted on January 23, 2013 by admin

Bullying is about the abuse of power. Children who bully abuse their power to hurt others, deliberately and repeatedly. They are often hot-tempered, inflexible, overly confident, and don’t like to follow rules. Often they lack empathy and many also like inflicting pain on others. They often seek out to dominate and control others. They perceive hostile intent where there isn’t one. Overreact aggressively to ambiguous situations, and hold beliefs that support violence.

In the preschool years, bullies often use direct verbal bullying and physical power to control material objects or territory. They may not have the skills necessary to interact in socially appropriate ways.

In the elementary school years, bullies are more inclined to use threats and physical force. It is also combined with direct verbal bullying, to make victims do things that they do not want to do. During this time period, some children may begin to use indirect bullying to exclude peers from their social circle and activities.

In the middle and high school years, bullies rely on direct verbal bullying such as name-calling and making threatening remarks. Quite often this includes physical bullying such as pushing and hitting. Both boys and girls engage in physical bullying. But unlike boys, girls are more likely to participate in indirect, relational bullying, that often includes rumor-spreading and social exclusion. Use of the Internet or cell phones to send these hurtful messages takes a lead role. Boys during this time tend to rely on bullying to enhance their physical dominance, girls tend to use it to enhance their social status.

Children also bully in groups. Children may join in because they look up to the bully and want to impress him or her. Often though it is because they are afraid and do not want to be attacked themselves.

The Effects on The Bully

Besides hurting others, bullies hurt themselves. Each time a bully hurts another child, they become more and more removed emotionally from the suffering and pain of their victims. They begin to justify their actions to themselves by believing their victims deserve to be bullied. They start to believe that the way to get what they want from others is through force. Bullies fail to develop the social skills necessary for sharing, reciprocating, empathizing, and negotiating. These items form the basis for lasting friendships.

As they mature into adulthood, children who have bullied others often show higher rates of:

Aggression
Antisocial behavior
Carrying weapons to school
Dropping out of high school
Convictions for crime
Difficulty controlling their emotions
Traffic violations
Convictions for drunk driving
Depression
Suicides

Some Adults who have been bullied as children may be more likely to allow their own children to bully others, thus raising a new generation of bullies.

If Bullies can change these patterns of behavior before they become habitual and entrenched, will be less likely to suffer with these devastating and long-term effects . when When Bullying prevention strategies are applied early to children who are young or have just begun to bully others it is most effective —the earlier the better. It’s never too late to change a bully’s patterns of behavior. These habitual patterns are usually much more difficult to change in later years.

Starting in the preschool years, adults can teach children many social skills that are important to bully prevention and help guide children as they practice using these skills. The Social skills that form an important foundation for bullying prevention include:

Solving social problems
Sharing voluntarily
Interacting assertively
Showing empathy toward other

For more information about how you can help call us at 866-459-7225 or visit our website at http://simpleacts.org

Bullying by the Numbers | Corona, CA

Posted on December 11, 2012 by admin

School bullying statistics in the United States show that about one in four kids in the U.S. are bullied on a regular basis. Between cyber bullying and bullying at school, the school bullying statistics illustrate a huge problem with bullying and the American school system.

Here are some other statistics to think about:

56% of students have personally felt some sort of bullying at school. Between 4th and 8th grade in particular, 90% of students are victims of bullying.
The most common reason cited for being harassed is a student’s appearance or body size. 2 out of 5 teens feel that they are bullied because of the way that they look.
1 in 4 teachers see nothing wrong with bullying and will only intervene 4% percent of the time.
A victim of bullying is twice as likely to take his or her own life compared to someone who is not a victim.
One out of 10 students drop out of school because they are bullied.
Physical bullying peak in middle school and declines in high school. Verbal abuse rates remain constant from elementary to high school.
Researchers feel that bullying should not be treated as part of growing up (with the attitude “kids will be kids”).
57% of students who experience harassment in school never report the incident to the school. 10% of those who do not report stay quiet because they do not believe that teachers or staff can do anything. As a result, more than a quarter of students feel that school is an unsafe place to be.
Schools with easily understood rules of conduct, smaller class sizes and fair discipline practices report less violence than those without such features.

These numbers are too high! Parents, teachers, and those in daily contact with children on school campus’ need to do something to stop it. Children also need to stand together and put an end to bullying. When children see their peers being bullied, the incident needs to be reported or get help. If children band together to address these issues, there will be strength in numbers. By standing together to prevent bullying in every school, the number of bullying incidents can drop along with those incidents of children hurting themselves, and others, because of they fear for their life while attending school.

For more information about how you can help call us at 866-459-7225 or visit our website at http://simpleacts.org

Sources: NASP Make Beats, Not Beat Downs

Bullying by the Numbers | Corona, CA

Posted on December 11, 2012 by admin

Here are some other statistics to think about:

56% of students have personally felt some sort of bullying at school. Between 4th and 8th grade in particular, 90% of students are victims of bullying.
The most common reason cited for being harassed is a student’s appearance or body size. 2 out of 5 teens feel that they are bullied because of the way that they look.
1 in 4 teachers see nothing wrong with bullying and will only intervene 4% percent of the time.
A victim of bullying is twice as likely to take his or her own life compared to someone who is not a victim.
One out of 10 students drop out of school because they are bullied.
Physical bullying peak in middle school and declines in high school. Verbal abuse rates remain constant from elementary to high school.
Researchers feel that bullying should not be treated as part of growing up (with the attitude “kids will be kids”).
57% of students who experience harassment in school never report the incident to the school. 10% of those who do not report stay quiet because they do not believe that teachers or staff can do anything. As a result, more than a quarter of students feel that school is an unsafe place to be.
Schools with easily understood rules of conduct, smaller class sizes and fair discipline practices report less violence than those without such features.

For more information about how you can help call us at 866-459-7225 or visit our website at http://simpleacts.org

Sources: NASP Make Beats, Not Beat Downs

When Bullying Leads to Depression: The Story of S.A.C.K

Posted on July 25, 2012 by admin

Don and I were both teachers when we married. We were blessed with two children, Steve and Tami. Steve was a gifted child but by the 5th and 6th grade he was experiencing a lot of bullying in school, but he never told us about it. He just kept it to himself.

We knew his self-esteem was not very high and we tried everything we could think of to help, including counseling, but by the time he was in high school, his attitude and behavior were a big concern to us. They did not expect him to graduate. Unfortunately his depression was not identified.

It wasn’t long until he got into a very unhealthy love relationship which caused him great frustration, grief and sadness.

On his 19th birthday, he lost his final battle when he took his own life.

We don’t want this to happen to any more families. Bullying started Steve on this downward journey until the depression took over.

The pain of this terrible loss led us to establish the SACK Foundation with a desire to help children live, laugh and love in a bully-free environment. Every child has that right.