4 Ways to Encourage Kindness in Kids

Nearly every single parent has probably said, “play nice, please” or “be kind to your bother”.  And I’m sure that most parents would agree that they want to raise kind and caring children. But is being kind something that can be taught?

Yes, however, most of the teaching is by example.

It’s our job to be great role models to better mold a kinder generation, as kindness isn’t taught, but rather learned. Verbally telling someone to be a kind and caring can only go so far, and with children words typically go in one ear and out the other.

The following list includes four ways to encourage kindness in kids:

  1. Walk the walk. Children understand the concept of kindness through daily interaction with their families. The way speak to others and your children even when tired are how they learn how to treat other people. So be sure to be the person you’d like you’d like your child to be.
  2. Talk the talk. Encourage your child with kind language. It’s been said that learning empathy and language go hand-in-hand. Kindness is essentially having the ability to take another person’s perspective and then altering your language and actions accordingly. When talking to children of a young age, make sure to speak positively and know how to word things in such a way that don’t demean another person.
  3. Reward big acts of kindness. It’s important to take notice of the “uncommon acts of kindness”, such as when your child builds a lemonade stand for a good cause or they go out of their way to help another person. However, you shouldn’t reward your children every day for everyday helpfulness, like taking out the trash or playing nice. That everyday kindness should be expected of them.
  4. Take them outside their comfort zone to teach empathy. If children haven’t learned compassion and generosity by the time they are 18, it’s very unlikely that they’ll learn kindness in a lecture hall. Young people should interact with people of all backgrounds, to learn how to “put the shoe on the other foot.” Take them out of their comfort zone to encourage personal growth for empathy.

Kindness should never be taken for granted. Teach your children how others should be treated. As the saying goes “treat others how you want to be treated”. If you would like to help spread kindness throughout your schools, contact Simple Acts of Care and Kindness (S.A.C.K.) at 866-459-7225 today. Or visit www.simpleacts.org to learn more about the S.A.C.K. foundation. 

Don’t let Bullying Distract you from Becoming Interesting | SACK of Corona, Ca

Kids in classSadly we’ll probably never be able to stop bullying as a whole – but individuals can still rise above it into greatness. These household names were all viciously bullied as kids, but they weren’t going to let that stop them.

Elon Musk is closer to being a real life Iron Man than Robert Downey Jr. But as a child, he was severely bullied, and was once hospitalized when a group of boys threw him down a flight of stairs, and then beat him until he blacked out. Now, Musk has a net worth of $13.3 billion and plans to colonize Mars by 2040.

Kate Middleton. If you bullied someone who later married into royalty, you probably need to reassess your own life. As a 13-year-old, the Duchess only lasted two terms at Downe House boarding school because fellow students tormented her for suffering from eczema and being “skinny and meek.” She now supports anti-bullying charities with her husband, Prince William.

Michael Phelps is now the most decorated Olympian of all time, with a total of 22 medals. But as a child, he was bullied about his lisp and his big ears. Swimming helped Michael release energy and unleash frustrations. He told Yahoo Sports; “I kind of laugh at it now. I think it made me stronger going through that.”

When Tony Hawk was in high school, being into skateboarding was the equivalent of being into ultimate Frisbee today. In an interview with The Talks, Hawk said; “[The bullying] gave me the fire to push it even further. I liked that it set me apart and I didn’t care what they thought.”

Kate Winslet had a miserable adolescence. Nicknamed ‘Blubber’ at school, she claims classmates went as far as to lock her in cupboards; “I suffered from ‘No one will ever fancy me!’ syndrome, well into my teens” she told the Daily Mail. Four years later, she was painted by Leonardo DiCaprio in ‘Titanic'(Source: distractify.com).

Don’t let bullying distract you from becoming interesting.

For more information visit our website at: http://simpleacts.org/

What can be done to help someone who is being bullied? | Norco, CA

Support a child who is being bullied:

  • You can listen to the child and let him or her know you are available to talk or even help. A child who is being bullied may struggle talking about it. Consider letting the child know there are other people who can talk with him or her about bullying.
  • Give the child advice about what he or she can do. You might want to include role-playing and acting out a bullying incident as you guide the child so that the child knows what to do in a real situation.
  • Follow up with the child to show that you are committed to helping put a stop to the bullying.

Address the bullying behavior:

  • Make sure a child whom you suspect or know is bullying knows what the problem behavior is and why it is not acceptable.
  • Show kids that bullying is taken seriously. If you know someone is being a bully to someone else, tell the bully that bullying will not be tolerated! It is important, however, to demonstrate good behavior when speaking with a bully so that you serve as a role model of good interpersonal behavior.

If you feel that you have taken all possible steps to prevent bullying and nothing has worked, or someone is in immediate danger, there are other ways for you to help.

The problem

What you can do

A crime has occurred or someone is at immediate risk of harm. Call 911.
Someone is feeling hopeless, helpless, or thinking of suicide. Contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline online or at 1-800-273-TALK (8255). This toll-free call goes to the nearest crisis center in a national network. These centers provide crisis counseling and mental health referrals.
Someone is acting differently, such as sad or anxious, having trouble completing tasks, or not taking care of themselves. Find a local counselor or other mental health services.
A child is being bullied in school. Contact the:

  • Teacher
  • School counselor
  • School coach
  • School principal
  • School superintendent
  • Board of Education
Child is being bullied after school on the playground or in the neighborhood
  • Neighborhood watch
  • Playground security
  • Team coach
  • Local precinct/community police
The child’s school is not addressing the bullying Contact the:

  • School superintendent
  • Local Board of Education
  • State Department of Education

 

“One’s dignity may be assaulted, vandalized and cruelly mocked, but it can never be taken away unless it is surrendered.”
― Michael J. Fox, Actor

 

 

For more information about how you can help call us at 866-459-7225 or visit our website at http://simpleacts.org

S.A.C.K. also proudly serves Corona, Riverside, Norco, San Bernardino, and surrounding areas.

Bully Intervention- When YOU see or hear bullying . . . | Riverside, CA

When YOU see or hear bullying . . .

Intervene immediately. When you do nothing, you send the message that bullying is  acceptable. If you ignore or minimize the issue, victims will not believe that adults understand or care, or that they can help. If you don’t intervene, children won’t either.

Intervene even if you’re not sure it’s bullying. Observing children’s actions, words, body language, and facial expressions will help you determine if bullying is occurring. Even if it’s not, aggressive behaviors need to be stopped.

Stand between or near the victim and the bully, separating them if necessary, so as to stop the bullying behaviors. For young children, consider removing them from the situation to a “time-out” area or room.

Respond firmly but appropriately. Remain calm, but convey the seriousness of the situation. Announce that the bullying must stop. Describe the behavior you observed and why it is unacceptable.

Get help if needed. If the bully is using physical force, or there is more than one bully, you may need to find another adult to help keep children safe and protect yourself.

Do not respond aggressively. Using aggressive behavior sends the wrong message that this is a good way to solve problems. It may also prompt a bully or a bystander to increase his or her bullying behavior or become aggressive toward you.

Avoid lecturing the bully in front of his or her peers. Your goal is to end the behavior, not humiliate or shame the bully. Rather than serving as a deterrent, lecturing and scolding often provide the bully with attention that he or she finds rewarding.

Don’t impose immediate consequences. Allow yourself time to consider the incident and obtain any clarifying information—then decide the best course of action.

Don’t ask children to “work things out” for themselves.  Bullying is different from an argument or conflict; it involves a power imbalance that requires adult intervention.

Give praise and show appreciation to helpful bystanders.  Children who try to help the victim or stop the bully are key to bullying prevention.

Stick around. Remain in the area until you are sure the behavior has stopped.

“Go ahead, bully me; but in 30 years, the only thing people will remember is that I am your boss”
― J.E. Allotey, Author

For more information about how you can help call us at 866-459-7225 or visit our website at http://simpleacts.org

There are 5 reasons kids may not ask for help when being bullied | San Bernardino, CA

Most people reading this information right now know a child who has stayed home from school this week because they were afraid of being bullied – but you may not realize it. The estimations are that an average of 160,000 students around the country stay home daily out of fear of being bullied each day. But adults, for many of reasons, have no idea that the bullying is taking place.

For those parents and adults who may be wondering why the children are not telling them that they are bullied, there are 5 universal reasons:

  1. They have been taught not to tattle and often think that they are tattling on the bully. It is vitally important that children learn the difference between tattling about unimportant things and telling someone when bullying is taking place.
  2. Children may fear retaliation especially if they tell an adult they are being bullied. While the adult may be able to address the issue with the child doing the bullying, there will probably be another time right around the corner when the adult is there to help. Children may fear that things could escalate if the issue is addressed.
  3. Some children feel that they will not be listened to and that the issue will not be believed. They think that they will tell an adult and that person will not believe them or will suggest that maybe they did something to bring the bullying on themselves.
  4. A majority of children believe that telling an adult does nothing to stop the bullying. Sadly, research tends to support this thought. Many adults don’t do anything about the bullying, or they simply brush it off.  Often kids are told to “toughen up”, or “that it is just a part of growing up”. If children learn that adults won’t help, then they are not very likely to report the incidents.
  5. When children are bullied, they often feel ashamed or embarrassed. These feelings alone can keep them from reporting issues, because they don’t want people to know that they were being bullied.

Around half children who are being bullied don’t end up telling an adult that it’s happening. The more we as parents and adults can understand about the issues and address the reasons behind them not telling, the easier it will be to help solve the bullying problem our nation’s children and schools facing.

The challenges that children face when not telling adults that they are being bullied can be dealt with and defeated. This can happen by having a bully prevention program in place in every school, as well as parents and adults talking to children about bullying and the importance of telling someone in authority when it happens. It is also vitally important that when children do tell adults about bullying that it is addressed in a positive manner so that they feel confident in their decision to report it the next time it happens.

Bullying builds character like nuclear waste creates superheroes. It’s a rare occurrence and often does much more damage than endowment.”
― Zack W. Van, Author

For more information about how you can help call us at 866-459-7225 or visit our website at http://simpleacts.org

4 Easy Steps We Can All Take To Stop Bullying | San Bernardino, CA

To begin to foster a society of caring, respect, and awareness starts with a few steps that are simple but can make the biggest change possible.

1. Increasing Your Own Awareness

Recognizing when bullying is taking place is an important first step in finding solutions.  By understanding the reason and roots of the problem, you will begin to form an idea of how to start proactively working to address bullying.  This includes teasing, name-calling, shunning, and physical intimidation or assault.  Does your school, sports club, or youth group create a culture of respect, caring, and safety for everyone?  Are children supervised appropriately during recess, lunch and before and after school?  Do educators and staff have adequate support and training for addressing bullying and recognize the different forms that bullying can appear as?

2. Respond To Situations Forcefully but Respectfully

When you see bullying taking place or hear about it, remember that your reactions provide a framework for how the kids involved will respond to and understand the situation.  Children need to see adults being powerful and respectful in reacting to problems.  If adults in charge get upset and overreact, children are more likely to imitate adult actions and might even avoid telling adults about future situations.  Staying calm, respectful, and persistent will make you more effective in talking to children in bullying situations.

3. Teach Your Kids Defensive Skills

Positive peer to peer relationship skills help to put a stop to bullying.  Teach children that they have the confidence and power to walk away from any situation.  They can make safe choices like stepping out of a line or changing seats.  Sometimes all that is needed to make bullying problem stop.  Ensure that your child is active in getting help and is prepared to continue to ask for help even if an adult does not respond immediately to the situation.

4. Become Involved

Keep yourself informed as to what other parents and adults in your community are doing to stop bullying.  Insist that your child’s school and school district has a mandatory district-wide anti-bullying policy and that they educate their staff on how to stop bullying and recognizing all forms and types of youth bullying.  Write to your county- and state-level officials and tell them of the seriousness of bullying and demand they make it a top priority in their campaigns.

“I would rather be a little nobody, then to be a evil somebody.”
― Abraham Lincoln

For more information about how you can help call us at 866-459-7225 or visit our website at http://simpleacts.org

Bullying Facts and Solutions | Riverside, CA

With as much media attention as has been given to the sometimes tragic consequences of bullying, one only has to read the comments section of online articles about bullying to really see that many adults still don’t fully comprehend the negative impact that bullying has on so many children every day.

Below you will find some facts and statistics to help adults and parents come to realize bullying is a big problem for not only their community but, likewise, across the entire country.

Bullying Facts and Statistics

  • Because of bullying, 160,000 kids in the US stay home from school every day.
  • 83% of bullying incidents receive no intervention and continue to happen.
  • Bullies are four times more likely to engage in criminal behavior as an adult and often develop suicidal thoughts.
  • Male bullying more often consists of verbal and physical abuse, whereas female bullyies more commonly use more verbal abuse and social bullying by spreading of rumors.
  • Only half of educators have received training on how to handle bullying situations. That is like going to a dentist to get treated for the flu!
  • In a 2007 report it showed that nearly 80% of students who experienced bullying stated that it occurred inside the school grounds.
  • Verbal assaults amongst children more often target appearances and behaviors rather than race or religious affiliations. Often in those instances, the bullies felt that the victim was at fault for these behaviors or appearances.
  • 33.1% of middle and high school students surveyed agree or strongly agrees that teachers can stop bullying.  And 2/3 of these students are not confident that they can get help from their teachers.
  • A study conducted in 2005 showed that approximately one out of ten Internet users aged 10-17 had been the victim of cyber bullying and “on-line harassment”.  Half of victims who were bullied off-line and on-line by the same people reported being very distressed by the incidents.

“If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor. If an elephant has its foot on the tail of a mouse, and you say that you are neutral, the mouse will not appreciate your neutrality.”
― Desmond Tutu

 

For more information about how you can help call us at 866-459-7225 or visit our website at http://simpleacts.org

The Evolution of a Bully | Corona, CA

Bullying is about the abuse of power. Children who bully abuse their power to hurt others, deliberately and repeatedly. They are often hot-tempered, inflexible, overly confident, and don’t like to follow rules. Often they lack empathy and many also like inflicting pain on others. They often seek out to dominate and control others.  They perceive hostile intent where there isn’t one.  Overreact aggressively to ambiguous situations, and hold beliefs that support violence.

In the preschool years, bullies often use direct verbal bullying and physical power to control material objects or territory. They may not have the skills necessary to interact in socially appropriate ways.

In the elementary school years, bullies are more inclined to use threats and physical force.  It is also combined with direct verbal bullying, to make victims do things that they do not want to do. During this time period, some children may begin to use indirect bullying to exclude peers from their social circle and activities.

In the middle and high school years, bullies rely on direct verbal bullying such as name-calling and making threatening remarks.  Quite often this includes physical bullying such as pushing and hitting. Both boys and girls engage in physical bullying.  But unlike boys, girls are more likely to participate in indirect, relational bullying,  that often includes rumor-spreading and social exclusion. Use of the Internet or cell phones to send these hurtful messages takes a lead role. Boys during this time tend to rely on bullying to enhance their physical dominance, girls tend to use it to enhance their social status.

Children also bully in groups. Children may join in because they look up to the bully and want to impress him or her.  Often though it is because they are afraid and do not want to be attacked themselves.

The Effects on The Bully

Besides hurting others, bullies hurt themselves. Each time a bully hurts another child, they become more and more removed emotionally from the suffering and pain of their victims. They begin to justify their actions to themselves by believing their victims deserve to be bullied. They start to believe that the way to get what they want from others is through force. Bullies fail to develop the social skills necessary for sharing, reciprocating, empathizing, and negotiating.  These items form the basis for lasting friendships.

As they mature into adulthood, children who have bullied others often show higher rates of:

  • Aggression
  • Antisocial behavior
  • Carrying weapons to school
  • Dropping out of high school
  • Convictions for crime
  • Difficulty controlling their emotions
  • Traffic violations
  • Convictions for drunk driving
  • Depression
  • Suicides

Some Adults who have been bullied as children may be more likely to allow their own children to bully others, thus raising a new generation of bullies.

If Bullies can change these patterns of behavior before they become habitual and entrenched, will be less likely to suffer with these devastating and long-term effects . when When Bullying prevention strategies are applied early to children who are young or have just begun to bully others it is most effective —the earlier the better. It’s never too late to change a bully’s patterns of behavior.  These habitual patterns are usually much more difficult to change in later years.

Starting in the preschool years, adults can teach children many social skills that are important to bully prevention and help guide children as they practice using these skills. The Social skills that form an important foundation for bullying prevention include:

  • Solving social problems
  • Sharing voluntarily
  • Interacting assertively
  • Showing empathy toward other

For more information about how you can help call us at 866-459-7225 or visit our website at http://simpleacts.org

Recognizing Bullying Types | Corona, CA

There are four main types of bullying:

Verbal bullying: When a person uses name calling, jokes about or offensive remarks about a persons religion, gender, ethnicity, appearance or socioeconomic status.

Social bullying or Alienation: This is done by spreading fake news or doing wrong propaganda about something, disturbing someones positive activities or fight with friends.  Often pointing out differences in others, excluding others from a group, and spreading rumors.

Physical bullying: In this type the victims body is physically hurt.  This can be any physical contact that hurts a person using physical means such as hitting, kicking, thrown objects or punching.

 Cyber bullying: Spreading rumors or insults using emails, blogs, websites or social networks like Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, MySpace, etc.  This more than often includes sending pictures, messages or information using electronic media, computers and cell phones.

 

There are also two other types of bullying that are often forgotten about but are just as harmful.

Indirect Bullying: This is done by excluding others from a group, spreading lies, secrets, rumors or exaggerated stories about someone.

Intimidation Bullying:  These bullies use threats to frighten others.

For more information about how you can help call us at 866-459-7225 or visit our website at http://simpleacts.org

Bullying by the Numbers | Corona, CA

School bullying statistics in the United States show that about one in four kids in the U.S. are bullied on a regular basis. Between cyber bullying and bullying at school, the school bullying statistics illustrate a huge problem with bullying and the American school system. 

Here are some other statistics to think about:

  1. 56% of students have personally felt some sort of bullying at school. Between 4th and 8th grade in particular, 90% of students are victims of bullying.
  2. The most common reason cited for being harassed is a student’s appearance or body size. 2 out of 5 teens feel that they are bullied because of the way that they look.
  3. 1 in 4 teachers see nothing wrong with bullying and will only intervene 4% percent of the time.
  4. A victim of bullying is twice as likely to take his or her own life compared to someone who is not a victim.
  5. One out of 10 students drop out of school because they are bullied.
  6. Physical bullying peak in middle school and declines in high school. Verbal abuse rates remain constant from elementary to high school.
  7. Researchers feel that bullying should not be treated as part of growing up (with the attitude “kids will be kids”).
  8. 57% of students who experience harassment in school never report the incident to the school. 10% of those who do not report stay quiet because they do not believe that teachers or staff can do anything. As a result, more than a quarter of students feel that school is an unsafe place to be.
  9. Schools with easily understood rules of conduct, smaller class sizes and fair discipline practices report less violence than those without such features.

 These numbers are too high!  Parents, teachers, and those in daily contact with children on school campus’ need to do something to stop it. Children also need to stand together and put an end to bullying. When children see their peers being bullied, the incident needs to be reported or get help. If children band together to address these issues, there will be strength in numbers. By standing together to prevent bullying in every school, the number of bullying incidents can drop along with those incidents of children hurting themselves, and others, because of they fear for their life while attending school.

For more information about how you can help call us at 866-459-7225 or visit our website at http://simpleacts.org

Sources:  NASP   Make Beats, Not Beat Downs